#Darcy needs you to see this
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that-dam-heartstopper-fan · 8 months ago
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Welcome! You have found the madness of my blog. 
You can call me Darcy, Darce, Ash, Angel, or a nickname. I do not care (also if I tell you that my name is Angle, I meant Angel, I just can’t spell 😭)
I use she/her and they/them pronouns. I am a demigirl :)
I identify as asexual and panromantic and a burden
I reblog a lot, put random polls, and post random things about my life.
My other account: my oc: @a-poetic-apollo-kid
Lee Fletcher: @the-forgotten-apollo-kid
Naomi Solace: @best-country-singer
Naomi Solace for a closed rp for demigod’s mortal parents: @all-time-alt-country-singer
Cabin 7 ask blog: @cabin7-chaos
I created different Naomi blogs cause they are apart of two different closed rps, and I run the second one
how I run my blog:
Feel free to message me, i promise I’m nice, if you just want to talk or need to vent. I support everyone, (unless you’re a dick - homophobic, racist, sexist, etc) 
I use ‘girl’ ‘gurl’ ‘guys’ ‘dude’ and ‘bro’ as gender neutral terms, if you’re uncomfortable with it or sm just let me know :)
also I use <3 platonically, again let me know if you’re uncomfortable with it :)
Moots:
a list of my moots here lmk if you want to be added (as long as we are mutuals)
poll tag list if you want to be apart of my tag list for polls please comment on this to be apart of that
Things I follow: 
(There might be more tbh)
Heartstopper -Anything Alice Oseman | Good Omens | Young Royals | Red, White, and Royal Blue | Avatar the last air bender | Percy Jackson | Doctor Who (a bit-not really) | Anything gay/queer/LGBTQIA+ | Hamilton 
There’s more, I’m just forgetting lol 
I love music and books- please if you want to, send in recommendations.  music peoples I listen to:
Cavetown | Conan Gray | Baby Queen | Olivia Rodrigo | Wasia Project | Orla Gartland | Taylor Swift (a bit) | Beabadoobee | Girl in red | JVKE | Bailey Spinn | Alexander Steward | Au/Ra | Natalie Jane | PEGGY | Lauren Spencer Smith | Billie Eilish
(These people all have more than one song on my main playlist)
Tags: Darce has a question - for polls
Ash shares their vast knowledge - for asks
Angel shouts into the void - for vents
Darcy needs you to see this - for reblogs
rambling Darce - for rambling
Darcy has a lot to say - for my headcanons
I’m going to try my best to use these :)
Extra: I have a YouTube channel… I post edits/videos of heartstopper and Percy Jackson
picrew: here
I think that’s it, please be nice :)
I do it for the girls and the gays
(gays being anyone in the LGBTQIA+)
credits: thank you soooo much @bleep-bloop-boo for the name and @ ideas
Thank you @homocidalpotat for my tag names
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casualavocados · 3 months ago
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Why do you always use that to piss me off? ...It makes me happy. We agreed that I'm in charge of the bars. But you come here all the time to watch me. How am I supposed to lead my people? Use your head, okay? Suit yourself. What's the matter? Chen Yi. Chen Yi! [...] Don't make me worry.
Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)
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emeraldxphoenix · 11 months ago
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plotted novella (oops sorry) for @cffidelityy
Gatherings such as this are always amusing to Mr Loki Laufeyson – more so if they are among people unknown to him. The man is undeniably striking; tall, raven-haired, lithe, strong – there is always admiration of his natural assets, and he soaks it up like a sponge. Even when word inevitably gets around that he is but a second (adopted) son, and therefore does not stand to inherit the vast Odinson fortune, strangers still curry his favour as if he were some sort of god.
Tonight is no different; dressed immaculately in expensive green silk, Loki holds court with a small group of admirers who hang on his every word. The gentlemen clasp his hand, and offer him cigars, and the ladies silently eye his figure and finger their dance cards meaningfully. He charms with smooth smiles, entertains with small sleight of hand tricks, and regales with tales of his home country. Everyone is playing their part to perfection.
The band strikes a chord, signalling to guests that the dancing will commence soon, and Loki remains in his seat, cruelly watching the light of hope diminish in ladies’ eyes as they conclude he does not intend to dance. The other young men leap at the opportunity to accompany them instead, and there is a brief clamour as those intending to dance pair off and make their way across to the adjoining room. 
It’s laughably easy for Loki to slip away in the chaos. He skirts the edges of the room, heading for the far wall and the pretty little thing beside the window who caught his eye. Dressed tastefully in cerulean blue, the young woman has been observing the room's occupants since he first spotted her, making the gentleman undeniably curious. They haven’t been formally introduced, but that kind of minor scandal has never bothered Loki, so he approaches with his hand held out towards her, and an offer on his lips: “Would you care to dance?”
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greenerteacups · 1 year ago
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I was just talking with a friend about possible great HP-world tv-shows and we ended up at "Pride and Prejudice in the HP wizarding world" (not the plot of P&P but the vibes; with Slytherin!Mr.Darcy and Gryffindor!Elizabeth (or OR! better yet vice versa)) and I thought you would be such a perfect fit to write it 😍
aw, thanks, that's a fun idea! I feel like Hogwarts AUs for other fandoms used to be more of a thing back in the age of peak Pottermania, and I wonder if they won't end up coming back when the TV show drops.
Darcy is totally a Hufflepuff, though.
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everysongineverykey · 2 years ago
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we're watching pride and prejudice (2005) in class and we're only about an hour or so in but i gotta say. this movie is not nearly as good as tumblr made it out to be
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roseunspindle · 1 year ago
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reject booktok culture. go to the library and get a weird little novel you’ve never heard of in your life and read it all in 2 days like god intended.
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a-very-fond-farewell · 10 months ago
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I just brushed my teeth and washed it down with sparkling water (bc my piping system is not doing well rn and I only had sparkling water on me even if I don’t drink it), so you better know I’m starting this day writing my ass off
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dubiousculturalartifact · 1 year ago
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do you ever think about how darcy's perspective of the visit to rosings is just... a completely wild time. so like. he and his favourite cousin goes to visit with his weird aunt, and ends up running into this hot girl, that he's really kinda increasingly into? she's staying in the area for a while with her bestie. so like. he was expecting a boring social obligation visit & getting pressure into marrying his other, less favourite cousin. instead, he watches the hot girl hold her own with his aunt in conversation. she banters with him over the pianoforte and they have a Moment™. he keeps going over to the house she's staying at, just to awkwardly chill there, even though he doesn't like the other people there. has a whole conversation with her about how she wouldn't mind living far away from family, as long as she could afford the travel. he extends his visit so he can keep seeing her. when he runs into her on a walk, she makes a point of detailing the exact route she prefers to take while out walking, clearly encouraging him to join her, so he does. he has a really nice time on these walks, they spend a lot of time in companionable silence, but he manages to flirt a little by implying some stuff about the future & what their married life could be like, and they have some conversations about that. and sure, she has some family baggage, but none of them are around so it's a lot easier to ignore, y'know? so eventually he just can't take it anymore, and he shoots his shot. she clearly values honesty so he explains his scruples as well, but he thinks she's been dropping some favourable signals, so he's got a good chance, right?
and then not only she turns him down she ROASTS THE FUCK OUT OF HIM. she insults him. she insults his honour as a gentleman. she flips the fuck out about... oh yeah crap the sister thing, turns out his cousin blabbed, and then I'M SORRY YOU SAID WHAT? ABOUT WICKHAM? THIS IS ABOUT FUCKING WICKHAM, MY FUCKING NEMESIS? HE FUCKING SAID WHAT ABOUT.... OH MY GOD. oh fuck. I've fucked up so badly I need to reevaluate my entire life & risk sending a letter to an unmarried woman who hates my guts, just so i can explain shit. fuck.
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traveler-at-heart · 2 months ago
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Good Luck Babe
Summary: Wanda's boyfriend is the biggest asshole you've ever met. You think she'll choose you in the end.
Wanda Romanoff x F!R, eventual Natasha Romanoff x F!R
A/N: Don't be fooled by the summary, this is a Natasha Romanoff x R fic
Classes can be a drag. Especially the early mornings, where not even a cup of coffee can make you focus.
And then, there’s Wanda Maximoff, looking at the professor as she speaks, diligently taking notes while looking perfect, as usual.
She catches you staring and you have to look away, pretending that you weren’t just wondering how she manages to look effortlessly beautiful.
Class is dismissed and you take a minute to pack your things, preparing for the next session. You try not to roll your eyes as you find Wanda with her idiot boyfriend right at the door. As usual, they take up too much space, and you have to push one of them aside.
“Coming through, princess”
You don’t have to look back to know Wanda glares at you, annoyed at the nickname.
To be fair, the first time you used it you thought you were both involved in playful banter. Hell, you even meant it to be flirty, but she took great offense in it, which was the case with most things you did, whether they were aimed at her or not.
It was pretty clear she hated your guts. You just didn’t know why.
——
“I don’t know what her problem is” Wanda says, the music loudly booming across the house.
“What?” Jarvis says, leaning forward because he didn’t hear a word Wanda said. Partly due to the loud music and also because he’s looking at other girls, albeit discreetly.
“Y/N. She’s always being a total ass” the girl says, watching as you enter the house, avoiding her stare.
“She’s just jealous because you’re so pretty” he says and that’s enough to distract Wanda.
Across the room, you curse under your breath at the sight of the Maximoff girl. God, you hate her stupid boyfriend. Always runnig his mouth to his friends about Wanda, telling them private things… you’d overheard them at a bar once and it took every ounce of your being not to kill him right then and there.
Not to mention, the rumoured affairs that everyone knew about. Everyone, but Wanda, that is.
“You made it!” Carol greets you, and then follows your gaze. “Ugh, that guy’s the worst”
“Agree” you nod, turning to look at her. “Shots?”
“Hell, yeah” your friend says, taking you to the kitchen where Val is pouring some alcohol.
To your relief, you get to avoid Wanda for the entirety of the night, and as your friends arrive you quickly forget what had soured your mood in the first place.
Wanda, on the other hand, is not having such a great time. At some point while she was chatting with Pepper, she lost sight of Jarvis and can’t seem to find him anywhere. Knowing Stark could get crazy ideas, she worries that they might be doing something reckless so she goes around the house, looking for her boyfriend.
She’s expecting everything but seeing him with his pants around his ankles while a girl Wanda doesn’t even know gives him head.
“Wanda!” Jarvis shouts, startled.
“That’s not my name” the girl says, smiling playfully. “Or are we role playing?”
“I need to get out of here” Wanda says, closing the door.
Of course, he chases her down the hall, desperately sayig any excuse he can think of. Wanda tries to walk past him, but he blocks her from going downstairs.
“Don’t be so uptight about it” he loses his patience when Wanda refuses his apology. “Guys just need to do it more than girls, it meant nothing”
“You’re an ass” she says, tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Wanda, don’t leave” he warns, as she finally walks around him to go to the first floor. The shouting makes some people turn around, and it’s almost impossible to ignore the commotion.
You’re standing next to Val and Darcy, unable to look away as the oh so happy couple keeps shouting at each other.
“Guess he got caught red handed this time” Darcy mutters. She and Wanda were friends but had a fallout and you suspected it had to do with Jarvis and his side pieces.
“Let go of me” Wanda insists when he takes her arm, pulling her close to him.
“People are staring, shut your fucking mouth”
“You’re hurting me” she protests, trying to losen his grip.
Maybe it’s the way she says it, so defeated or even scared, but those words make you snap, and you walk up to them, pushing Jarvis away.
“Stay out of it” he warns.
“Make me”
You are expecting the first punch so you dodge it in time, but he manages to land another one on your mouth, and you feel the taste of blood.
“You’re gonna regret this” you say, launching yourself forward until you knock him over, landing on a coffee table that breaks. Grabbing him by the shirt, you land two punches and go for a third one when he kicks you, making you gasp for air.
“That’s enough” Thor steps in, his brother looking delighted at the chaos. “You better leave”
Jarvis glares at him, but truth be told, Thor doesn’t like him and he is your friend. He leaves the Odinson house, cursing under his breath.
“I’m fine” you tell your friends as they bring over ice to put on your cheek.
“Want us to take you home?” Carol offers.
“It’s good” you say, shaking your head. “I should go, take some painkillers”
“Call us if you need anything”
“Ok” you pat Darcy’s back, leaving the house where everyone’s partying like nothing even happened.
As you walk to your car, you spot Wanda, sitting on the sidewalk, wiping away the tears that roll down her cheeks.
“You ok?” you ask, standing next to her.
“He’s an idiot. No, I’m the idiot for being with him” she rambles.
There’s a very sarcastic comment at the tip of yout tongue but you save it.
“Did he drove you here?” Wanda nods and you jiggle the car keys. “Come on, I’ll drive you to your dorm”
“I don’t want to be alone” Wanda hugs her knees, and in spite of everything, your heart aches for her.
“Any friends that can take you in for the night?” she shakes her head no and you sigh. “Wanna stay at my place?”
“Are you sure it’s ok?”
“Yeah, come on” you say, walking to the car. You drive in silence, eager to get home and put some more ice on the punch.
Wanda gets out of the car and follows you to the dorm you share with Carol, who usually stays with Val most nights.
“Take the bed” you say, handing over some clean clothes so she can change.
Wanda looks at you, and you feel uncomfortable at the intensity of her gaze.
“I… thank you, Y/N”
“Sleep tight, princess” you say with a smile and for the first time she doesn’t look upset as you call her that.
——
The smell of bacon and butter wakes you up and you stretch, trying to remember why you’re in the couch.
When you see Wanda in your kitchen, everyhing that happened comes back and you groan, rubbing the sleep off your eyes.
“Ouch” you say when you rub close to the punch on your cheek.
“You’re up” Wanda says, smiling. It’s a strange sight, as she’s used to glaring at you or just ignoring your presence.
“You sleep ok?” you say, trying to hide your blush when you notice she’s still wearing the clothes you let her borrow.
“Yeah, thanks” she nods, pulling up two plates with pancakes. “I wanted to thank you for everythig you did last night”
“No need” you say, grabbing a fork and eating. Wanda’s just being nice and you honestly don’t want to force her to interact with you, so all you want is to finish your food and give her an out so she can leave.
“He’s been texting me” Wanda says, looking at her food but not eating anything. “Saying it was a mistake, a one time thing and that it would never happen again”
“And you believe him?” you try to control your tone.
“I’d heard the rumors… even from Darcy. You probably know already”
“We assumed that’s why you fought, but she told us it was none of our business. And I know this isn’t none of mine, but you deserve better”
Wanda giggles at that and you look at her, intrigued.
“I’m just… I thought you didn’t like me”
“Where’d you get that?”
“The nickname, your constant glares across the room…”
Oh, shit. Here you were thinking you were obvious about your crush, and Wanda thinks you hate her.
“I hate… Jarvis. I knew he was a dick so I always disliked him. Seeing him with you. Yeah”
“Do you like me?” Wanda asks and you take a deep breath, shrugging your shoulders.
The girl smiles, finishing her food. You stay in the kitchen, fidgeting with your fork until she comes back, changed into her own clothes.
“I should get back. Do you need anything? Painkillers, ice?” she leans forward, her hand touching your bruise gently. Then, you notice her eyes drifting to your lips.
“I’m fine” you say and she nods, stepping back.
“See you in class?”
“Yes” you say, smiling as she waves goodbye. Carol walks in ten seconds later, looking behind her.
“Was that…?”
“Yes”
“Did you…?”
“No” you cut her off. “She just didn’t want to be alone after what happened”
“Y/N…” Carol says in that tone you dislike so much. You’re about to get scolded over something that isn’t that big of a deal.
“Carol, come on. She slept in my room, I stayed on the couch. That’s it”
“I just don’t want to see you getting hurt” your friend says and you nod. “I mean, you got a split lip and a black eye already so maybe it’s a little late for that”
“Yeah, that’s true. Come on, there are some pancakes left”
——
You tell yourself it means nothing. Wanda sits next to you during class, and offers a second scone she got from the cafeteria.
“How’s the eye?”
“I’m not blind” you shrug your shoulders. “Jarvis hits like a little bitch”
Wanda snorts at that, and you can’t hold back your own laugh. That attracts the attention of Professor Harkness, who focuses on your eye.
“Do I even want to to know, Y/L/N?”
“Nah” you shake your head and she rolls her eyes.
“Alright”
With that, the lesson begins. You try hard to focus, but Wanda smells really nice and you’re only human. At one point, she shuffles in her seat, her leg coming in contact with yours and you give up on taking notes.
“You ok?” to your surprise, Wanda follows you out of the classroom. “I can let you borrow my notes, if you want”
“Wanda” you stop abruptly, sighing. “Listen, you don’t owe me anything. I helped because it was the right thing to do. So don’t worry about paying me back in any way”
“That’s not… ” she stutters, fixing her hair. “I don’t really have any friends. I was always with him”
“Oh” you feel like an idiot. “Well, ok. I could use those notes”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, come on. I’ll trade them for a coffee” you smile, walking next to her to the library.
It surprises you, how much you and Wanda have in common. She likes sitcoms and though you’re more of a Friends kind of girl, it’s fun to watch those old shows where they dance and sing from time to time.
“I only know Dick Van Dyke from Mary Poppins” you confess one time, which prompts Wanda to invite you to her dorm for a marathon.
“Where are you going?” Darcy says when you walk past her and Carol that evening.
“Oh, this is gonna be fun” Carol smiles and you glare at your friend.
“Well, Wanda and I…”
“Oh, my God! You traitor. Brutus!” Darcy shouts, throwing a napkin at you. “She’s the worst”
“I wouldn’t know. You didn’t tell me what happened”
“She got you there” Carol points out, eating popcorn while she enjoys the show.
“That is besides the point”
“Look, I’m not putting Wanda on my will or anything, we’re just hanging out. And if she mentions you, I’ll be the first one to defend you”
Darcy sighs, chewing on her lip.
“It’s not about me. Wanda has the habit of just… using people when she’s bored or on a break from that idiot. And then they get back together and forgets about you. Which sucks. I wouldn’t want it to be the case for you, that’s all”
“I’ll be careful” you promise.
Once at Wanda’s, you’re trying to enjoy the show, but Darcy’s words are echoing in your head. You had to admit that if you spent more time with Wanda, you’d probably develop an even bigger crush. And if she went back to that asshole, it would hurt you.
Was it really worth it?
“Is the show boring? We can watch something else. I know it’s weird that I like this” Wanda pauses mid episode.
“No, it’s just… Darcy said some things…”
“Oh. I wouldn’t blame you if you don’t want to hang out anymore” she sighs, looking down at her hands.
“I’m just thinking… maybe it would be good if you fix things with her? Say sorry. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it”
“I can try, but you know her. She won’t make it easy” you both laugh at that. “Is that all?”
“Yeah” you lie. “Come on, let’s keep watching. I wanna know if Rob goes to Ritchie’s play”
Wanda smiles, this time moving closer to you. Her head rests on your shoulder, relaxing against you. It’s so intoxicating, to have her so close, to feel her warmth.
And all you can think over and over again is “please don’t break my heart”. But you can’t ask for the impossible.
You’re really not expecting Wanda to take your suggestion at heart, but one day you see her speaking with Darcy in the hallway, your friend pretending to not be interested in the conversation at all.
The only sign that she actually forgives Wanda is when you’re sitting with the girl at the cafeteria and Darcy sits next to you, carrying a tray.
“This is the only seat that I could find” she mutters unconvincingly, making you and Wanda smile.
Though you spent most of the time in each other’s dorms, watching movies or shows. You learn that Jarvis was the one that dragged Wanda to all those parties and anytime you invite her to one she politely declines.
Now, you’re staying in while the rest of your friends are at the Odinson mansion. You don’t know if they’re allergies or a mild cold, but you’ve been feeling sick all day and wanted to rest.
“Coming” you groan when someone knocks. You open the door to find Wanda on the other side. “You’ll get sick, what are you doing here?”
“I made you soup”
“Thanks” you take the container, and you gotta admit the idea of warm soup makes your mouth water. “I’d say do you want to come in, but I really do worry this might be contagious”
“I’ll be fine” she walks inside, finding her usual place in the couch and patting the spot next to her. “Come on. We’ll even watch that boring show you like”
“The Office is not boring!” you huff, making her laugh.
A couple of episodes later, and you feel your eyes slowly closing, a side effect from the  medicine you took. Wanda notices, and makes you walk to your room.
As you lay in bed, you’re drifting off to sleep when you feel Wanda sliding next to you, her hand on your forehead.
“Your fever is down”
“Mhm. Thanks to the magic soup”
“I’m staying, in case you need anything”
“Ok, baby” you nod, too sleepy to notice what you’re saying.
Wanda’s heart flutters at the term of endearment, and she watches you sleep peacefully, her mind racing with thoughts about what could this possibly mean to you both.
On the other hand, you don’t remember anything and are startled when you feel someone sleeping next to you.
“Wanda?” you say when you turn around, smiling at how cute she looks, all confused.
“I must have fallen asleep here. How are you feeling?”
“Better, thanks” you lay on your side, still smiling. Wanda is still thinking about the way you called her and it’s fairly obvious you don’t remember.
Still, she leans forward and you almost watch in slow motion as her lips meet yours in a short kiss.
“Why did you…”
“You make me feel… I don’t know. Safe. I’m sorry, if I crossed line. Maybe I should go…” she sits up and you follow suit, making her turn to you.
This second kiss is a bit more urgent and less delicate, but you hope it makes a point.
“Now I really hope that what I had wasn’t contagious”
Wanda laughs at that, her hand over yours.
——
The next few weeks you grow closer to Wanda. You spend most of the time at her place, watching sitcoms and more often than not, you end up making out on her bed, until you’re both out of breath.
She also enjoys teasing you endlessly, like that time she sat next to you in Agatha’s class and put her hand on your thigh. Your knee jolted forward, crashing against the table and making the professor glare at you.
This time, you’re supposed to be studying in your room, but you find that looking at Wanda as she goes over her notes is far more interesting.
“Stop” she says after a few minutes and you smile.
“I’m not doing anything”
“You’re staring”
“Can you blame me?” you crawl behind her, placing small kisses down her neck. She sighs at the contact, leaning against your front.
“Are you doing this to get my notes?”
“Maybe” you laugh against her shoulder, making her turn until you’re kissing her, and she pushes you down on the bed, straddling your lap.
“You better work for them, then”
Next day, when you’re done with your test, the first thing you do is reach for Wanda’s hand. To your surprise, she flinches away, grabbing the strap of her bagpack.
“Did you do ok on the test?” she’s quick to ask, hoping you won’t push it too much.
“I think so, yeah”
“If you pass, I’d say you owe me for borrowing my notes” she smiles.
“Well, we could go out to the movies. Or dinner?” you suggest, your heart beating faster. It’s a thought that has been going through your mind recently.
Not that you don’t enjoy the kissing and sneaking around, but you’re eager to take Wanda out, find new places together, talk about something else other than classes and her old shows.
“I’m not sure I can make it” Wanda says, avoiding your eyes again.
This new rejection stings and you drop your shoulders, looking for an excuse to leave.
“Yeah, you’re right. We have lots of stuff to do. I’ll catch you later” you say, walking faster and not waiting for Wanda’s reply.
The rest of the day is spent in your dorm, which isn’t unusual. The only difference is that you’re alone instead of enjoying Wanda’s company, and hiding from seeing her.
“Wanna go to Joe’s with us?” Carol offers. “To celebrate midterms are over”
“Sounds fun” you agree, because it’s been forever since you’ve been with your friends.
“You can invite your girl”
“She’s not my girl”
“Oh?” Carol tilts her head to the side, putting the pieces together. “So that’s why you only hang out in the dorms”
“What did you think we were doing?”
“Having sex like crazy”
No answer comes to you, because sex is something that hasn’t happened yet. Or maybe never, considering Wanda doesn’t want anything more.
“I don’t think she knows what she wants, Carol”
“Do you?” she asks gently. Your immediate response is a shrug of your shoulders, and it’s a lie, because you know exactly what you want. “Come on, it’s her loss then. Let’s just go out and have fun”
Meeting your friends does improve your mood and you’re happy you listened to Carol. You eat and play pool, until everyone gets restless and looks for something else to do.
“Heard Stark is having a party” Carol says, knowing he always gets the fancy booze.
“Pass” you’re the first one to speak.
“Why?”
“Isn’t he best friends with Jarvis?” Darcy says. “We don’t want to have another fight, do we?”
“Oh come on, there will be so many people he won’t even notice that you’re there!” Carol insists, and you can tell she’s gonna be stubborn and annoying until she gets what she wants.
So, you agree, but spend the whole time looking around, waiting for that jerk to pop out of nowhere and pick up a fight.
“I don’t think he’s here” Darcy says, patting your back. “Let’s just have some fun, then Val will drag Carol out of here and we can go home, yeah?”
“Sounds like a plan” you nod.
For the next hour, you do enjoy the party and are even surprised when Tony seems happy to see you. To be fair, he is a lot nicer than most of his friends. You’re relaxed, dancing to the music and doing shots with Darcy and Val, almost forgetting why you were so sad in the first place.
That is, until you walk out of the living room to get another beer, but the place is so crowded you bump into a girl.
“Sorry, are you ok?” you say, turning to make sure she’s fine.
Your stomach drops when your eyes meet Wanda’s.
She calls for you, but the sound of her voice is drowned out by the music and the ringing in your ears. Jarvis says Wanda’s name, and you take advantage of the distraction to escape, pushing people out of the way.
When the fresh air hits you, the first thing you do is bend over the railing of the porch and throw up, coughing and wretching violently.
“It’s ok” Darcy comes out of nowhere, getting the hair out of your face.
“Shit” Val sobers up immediately. “Time to go home?”
“Yeah, come on. Let’s get a cab” Carol says, patting your back.
They think you’re wasted, but all you are is heartbroken. Wanda was with him, after everything you’ve been through.
The shame over being so naive makes you stay in your dorm for the entire day.
Wanda shows up the minute Carol leaves.
“You should go”
“Please let me explain”
“I don’t think that’s possible” you shake your head. You know it, deep down. She’ll never give you a place in her life.
“We’re just… friends. He wanted to talk, apologize”
“Wanda” you plead, hoping she’ll stop. But instead, she pushes past you, her hands in your face.
“I can’t lose you”
“Why would I stay?”
Wanda answers with a kiss, that is slow at first, and then borderline agressive. You’re pushing, then pulling, unsure of what you want from her, but she pulls your pants down, just enough for her hand to fit, moving past your underwear and circling your clit. Your nails dig into her shoulders, gasping and breathing as she enters roughly, her fingers moving fast and hard.
It’s not nice or affectionate, but a way to further claim you, ruin you, brand you. Now she’s reached and touched more of you, and you’ll never be able to erase it.
Your orgasm comes unexpectedly, and after the high, you come crashing down. All you feel is bitterness and guilt and anger. Wanda stays inside, biting your neck. The sting reminds you, you’re only gonna get pain out of this.
It becomes a vicious circle. Wanda is distant in public, because more often than not Jarvis is by her side. And then, she corners you in any spot she can find, kissing you and pressing her body against yours.
The more you let her in, the weaker you are and it’s nearly impossible to stay away. It will hurt if she leaves, and it hurts to be with her.
“I don’t know how to stay away” you confess to Carol one particularly hard night. Darcy was called to offer her support, and she provided that along with snacks. “You were right, Darcy”
“I didn’t want to be” she says, holding your hand. “You’re the only one who can put a stop to this. She’ll never stop looking for you”
You can’t see yourself doing that, but then you walk past her in the hallway, and you hear her saying those words to Jarvis.
“I love you”
You couldn’t even get her to hold your fucking hand.
Pushing past her, you walk away, hoping to find the nearest bathroom and lock yourself there. Lucky for you, Wanda doesn’t follow you.
There’s someone else waiting outside.
“Miss Y/L/N” Professor Harkness greets and you nod, looking at your feet and hoping she doesn’t notice your red eyes.
“Professor”
“You’re too advanced for my class. My wife has a spot in her lecture. New people to impress, most of them pHD students”
Her emphasis in the new makes you understand.
You won’t have to see Wanda in class.
“Ok. I’d like that”
“Keep your head high, kiddo” Agatha says, her hand on your chin. “And don’t tell any of this to Rio or she’ll accuse me of going soft”
“Yes, Professor Harkness. Thank you”
“Mhm” she nods, giving her signature smirk and turning around.
One less place where you’ll have to see Wanda.
Soon after that, you change everything about your routine. Where you eat, study, even go out for runs. Hell, you change your phone number and Darcy is kind enough to let you stay with her for a while. That, and the Thanksgiving break are enough to give you three weeks of space.
It hurts and more than once you have to stop yourself from looking for Wanda. But what’s the point of being a secret? The longer it goes on, the more it will hurt.
Still, there are days when anger weights heavier than sadness. You’re mad at yourself, for being so stupid. At Wanda, because she was a coward and a liar. And those times, you get restless and go out to run, listening to music until you reach a hidden lake. It’s one of the few places you can be at peace, because you found it after Wanda broke your heart. So, there’s no ghost of her here, only you and your conflicting emotions.
Throwing stones at the lake is a way to pass time, and you’re doing exactly that when you hear rustling behind you.
“Sorry” a raspy voice says. Your eyes meet green ones, but these are softer, almost shy. The girl has beautiful red hair, braided with a few strands lose. She misinterprets your silence, and quickly retreats. “I’ll find another spot”
“That’s ok. I can… I can go”
“No, you don’t have to” she’s quick to reassure.
“Well, we can always share” you propose, smiling. The girl nods, and places her bagpack next to a log. She pulls out a book, and begins reading. You continue throwing rocks, stealing glances here and there.
“Is the book any good?” you finally ask.
“Depends”
“On what?”
“On your fascination with social expectations in Russian society during the 19th century”
“Pass. Got anything lighter?” you joke. To your surprise, the girl pulls out another book.
“How about the perils of indulging in romantic fantasies?”
“I know those very well” you say, grimacing. She puts the book down, smiling at you. You try to smile back, but turn your attention back to the lake until you’re able to calm down.
“Lit major?” you guess, pointing at the spot next to her. She moves her bag, allowing you to sit.
“Yeah. You?”
“Anthropology. Minor in Art History. I’m surprised we haven’t seen each other in the building”
“I'm a grad student, so I’m usually at the library” the girl says.
“No parties?”
“No one ever invites me” she shakes her head.
“I’d invite you” you blurt out, finding her blush adorable. “Sorry, I don’t mean to be forward”
“It’s not… you’re fine”
“So. Anna Karenina and Madame Bovary. Are you trying to find out if Tolstoy really wrote his book with Flaubert’s in mind?”
The girl gives you an appreciative smile, nodding.
“Yeah, but it’s more about how men in 19th century wrote about women. Even in two different societies, the protagonists are punished for following their desires”
“No one should be punished for that” you say, looking at her. She averts her eyes, holding back a smile.
“Why Anthropology?” she changes the subject.
“Because. We’re the same and we’re not, even thousand of years apart. Isn’t that fascinating?”
“How so?”
“Do you think you have anything in common with someone who lived thirty thousand years ago?”
“We need food to survive. Sleep, water, oxygen” she lists, and you nod.
“Mhm. All basic needs. Next question, did you make a drawing of your hand when you were a kid?”
“Everyone did” she says, as if it’s obvious.
“Why?”
“Because I wanted to see what it looked like. Because it was my hand and no one else’s”
“And people thirty thousand years ago thought the same thing. And left their handprint in a cave in Southern France. Isn’t that something wonderful?”
She stays silent for a second and then smiles.
“I suppose it is, yes. To have an impact, so long after you’re gone too”
“You get it” you nod. “I’m Y/N, by the way”
“Natasha” she says, smiling at you.
The next few days, you catch yourself thinking about Natasha, and even with all the distractions, your mind goes back to her. It takes every ounce of self control to not wait everyday by the lake. Why would you want to get hurt, when you just started healing?
Love never ends well for Anna Karenina, Emma Bovary or yourself.
And yet… three days later you’re by the lake, holding a book of your own collection and an extra scone. You’re about to give up when Natasha shows up, and she seems as eager as you.
“Hey”
“Hi” she answers, a smile on her face. “Am I interrupting lunch?”
“This is for you. I mean, I was hoping I’d see you here” you stutter, looking everywhere but Natasha’s eyes.
“I was hoping to see you too” she confesses. It takes you by surprise, so she grabs the scone and the book as you try to gather your thoughts.
“Emily Dickinson” she reads. “Enjoying it?”
“You can borrow it if you want. I mean, yes I enjoyed it when I read it. But I just thought, you might like a change from male authors”
“Thank you” she nods, holding it close to her. “I actually have to go…”
“Oh, right” you nod, trying not to look disappointed.
“Can I have your number?” Natasha blurts out, her cheeks turning almost as red as her hair. “To give you your book back”
You smile, handing over your phone.
“I recently changed my number and I haven’t memorized it yet. So give me yours”
“Ok” she says. As soon as the device is back in your hands, you send her a text.
“See? Now I’m sure I gave you the right number”
“Talk to you soon. Thanks for the food”
When is it appropriate to text someone without looking desperate?
Either way, you can’t hold back your excitement as you walk to your dorm, jumping on Carol’s back as she’s eating her cereal.
“Are you mad?” she says, flakes and milk flying all over the counter.
“I’m just happy!”
“Why?” she glares, hoping you’re not back to your old ways.
“I spoke to a girl. And she gave me her phone number”
“Oh, my God! Y/N!” Carol shouts, the rest of her cereal thrown away as she dances around.
“What’s all the fuss?” Val says from the shower, concerned over the noise. Carol runs to the bathroom and opens the door wide.
“Y/N met a girl”
“Way to go!” Val joins the celebration and you’re about to say thank you when you notice she’s stepping out of the shower.
“Gah, bye”
“Yeah, we wouldn’t want your new girlfriend to think you’re a pervert!”
“Shut up” you say, walking to your room and flipping her off without turning back.
The rest of your evening is spent studying, but also looking at your phone waiting for anything to come through.
As you’re getting ready to sleep, there’s a text.
Nat: I’m ready to give the book back.
Y/N: It’s been… seven hours?
Nat: I’m a fast reader.
Nat: Secret spot? Saturday morning.
Y/N: I’ll be there
It’s the first time you’re there so early. The light filters through the leaves, birds chirping as their day begins with the rays of sunshine.
The walk to the lake is lovely, and you spot a couple of small flowers as you find your way to the place. Deciding to get one for luck, you twirl it around in your fingers.
You sit by the log, looking at the fog over the surface of the water when you hear soft footsteps approaching.
“I was afraid you’d stood me up” you joke when Natasha sits next to you.
“And stole your book?”
“The book, I could get over” you admit, giving her the flower. Natasha smiles, her fingertips caressing the petals delicately.
Your eyes are focused on the curve of her lips and those beaufitul eyes.
“Well, I’m here” she says, smiling when your eyes meet hers. “Thank you, I enjoyed reading it”
You take the book, your hands touching briefly.
“There’s a problem, though”
“What is it?” you say, worried that something’s wrong.
“I gave the book back, but I still have to thank you for that scone”
“Oh” you laugh.
“So, what is your preferred payment method? Ice cream? Coffee?”
“It’s a little early for ice cream”
“Then we’ll get it later. I know just the place”
“Yeah. I’d like that”
Though there are no classes, Natasha still has to meet with her advisor, so you chat for an hour until she has to go back to uni, agreeing to meet at your dorm in the evening.
“Is this a date?” you ask your friends on the video call as they agree on what you should wear.
“Of course it is, you silly goose!” Carol says, her face occupying half of the screen. “Wear something hot!”
“No, something comfortable. It’s an ice cream date, not a club” Val argues, trying to get a glimpse of the options.
“Something comfortable AND hot”
As they keep arguing, you opt for a pair of jeans, a white cotton t-shirt and a light jacket.
“Gotta go” you say when someone knocks. After hanging up, you are surprised to check Natasha’s ten minutes early. Plus, you don’t remember giving her your exact room number, agreeing you’d come down and meet at the lobby.
You’re about to open the door when the voice on the other side makes you stop in your tracks.
“Y/N? Please. Open up. I need you”
Wanda.
That voice, those words, the feelings you’ve been trying so hard to push away and bury come back. But instead of hurting you, they make you angry. You’re about to go out with a wonderful girl, who seems geniuenly interested in you. And here comes Wanda, trying to stain that as well.
Without thinking twice, you climb out of the window, holding on to the emergency ladder. You look down, unsure of what to do when you reach the last step.
"What are you doing?" Natasha says, rushing to stand above you.
"Parkour?" you reply weakly. "Is it too high?"
"Don't worry, I'll catch you"
Trusting her, you jump. Truth to her word, she eases the fall as you land, but you drag her along with you as you stay on the floor.
“Are you hurt? Why did you do that?”
Her hands are running over every inch of your face, going down to your shoulders and arms. The worry in her eyes only makes your heart beat faster.
“My roomate accidentally locked me inside”
You figure it's better than saying "My situationship is outside my door and I wanted to avoid her"
“You could have told me, and I would have gone and find her” Natasha insists.
“You’re right, I’m sorry. Let’s get ice cream? I won’t ever do this again” you promise, holding her hand. The redhead rolls her eyes, but nods and leads you away from the building.
You make small talk, appreciating how her hand doesn’t leave yours as you get away from campus and to the walking district. You try to look discreetly behind you, hoping Wanda didn’t see you and followed you.
Natasha finds the store, opening the door for you.
“Rocky road, please” you give Natasha puppy eyes and she smiles, ordering strawberry ice cream for her.
“So, what’s your deal?” she asks as you leave the store.
“My deal? What do you mean?” you say, mouth full of ice cream. The girl wipes the corner of your mouth with her napkin.
“You mentioned parties. Are you some sort of wild girl looking for someone to charm every night?”
“Oh, yes, I’m quite the Casanova” you laugh. “No, come on. My friends are cool and we just like to have fun from time to time”
“So, not a player” she notes with a smile.
“I did get my heart broken, though”
“Fella done you wrong?”
“His girlfriend done me wrong” you correct, wishing you were talking about anything else. But truthfully, if you want things to work out, you better be honest. “She was with me, but only on her terms and as if I were a secret”
“I’m sorry, you don’t deserve that”
“I moved on. So, don’t think I’m just messing here, Nat. I really like you” you hurry to say, blushing slightly.
“I like you too” she takes your hand. “Now, let’s finish our ice cream so I can show you this awesome bookstore I found”
The next few hours are spent talking about college, some of your plans for the future and also, your friends. You smile when Natasha comments she’d love to hang out with them.
Before it gets dark, you walk back to campus. Worried that Wanda might still be at your door, you asked Darcy a while back to go check. Apparently, the coast was clear.
Natasha walks you to the door.
“I had the best time” you say, smiling. “We should do it again. Maybe go to the movies?”
“Would love to” Natasha nods, her eyes drifting to your lips. You lean forward, heart beating fast as you’re eager to feel her lips on yours.
“Are you still here? I told you to beat it!” Darcy opens the door, making you both jump back. “Oops, I thought you were someone else. Sorry, I’ll go back inside. Pretend this didn’t happen, make out”
“Darcy” you groan. Your friend doesn’t get inside, though.
“The famous Natasha. Y/N here won’t shut up about you”
“Shhh, don’t listen to her, she’s off her meds” you ask Nat, covering Darcy’s mouth and pushing her inside. As you close the door, you hold it so she can’t open it again.
Natasha laughs, her hands going to your hips and pulling you softly. You take a few steps forward, smiling as she lifts your chin, leaning to connect your lips in a slow kiss.
It’s mindblowingly good, although too short for your liking.
“So, when are we doing this again?”
“The date or the kiss?” she jokes and your hands go around her neck.
“Both”
“As soon as you’re free” she says, kissing you once more before leaving for the day.
Darcy snaps a picture the second you walk inside.
“That’s the gayest you’ve ever looked, congrats” she says, sending the picture to the group chat.
You roll your eyes, pulling out your phone and smiling.
Y/N: Best I’ve ever had
Nat: The kiss or the ice cream?
Y/N: What do you think?
Smiling at your phone, you walk to the couch where your friend is sitting.
“I’m happy that you’re happy” she says, relieved that you’re healing from everything that Wanda put you through.
“Me too” you sigh, pulling your knees against your chest. “Though I do have to ask. Did Wanda say why was she here?”
“I didn’t care enough to find out. All I did was tell her to leave you alone. And then I pretended you were inside so she wouldn’t go anywhere else looking for you”
“You’re a great friend” you nudge her with your foot and she glares.
“Ew, get that thing away from me”
“I take it back” you show her your tongue.
The next week, you text Natasha between classes, and though she’s very busy, she’s always making time to get back to you. You agree to go out on another date on Friday, but neither one can wait to see each other, so you end up at the library on a Wednesday evening, each one focused on your work.
Well, Natasha is focused on her work. You’re looking at her, because this is the first time you’ve seen her wearing glasses and it’s adorable.
“Find anything interesting?”
“Plenty” you say, not even pretending to be reading your notes.
“You’re not the only one who’s staring” Natasha’s eyebrow arches, speaking without looking up. “Brunette, green eyes, a lot of rings and eyeshadow”
“Oh”
“Is that the infamous ex?” she says and you’re scared she’ll be upset about this whole situation.
“Uhm… yeah. I’m sorry. If she’s making you uncomfortable, I’ll just leave…”
Natasha looks up at that, eyeing you up and down as you struggle to read her expression. She surprises you by pulling your chair until it bumps against hers, leaning forward and kissing you, one of her hands on your thigh and the other holding your chin, in that signature move that always makes your head spin.
“Maybe that’ll keep her away” Natasha says, smiling and bumping her nose against yours.
“You can’t just kiss me like that and expect me to focus on an essay” you say, biting your lip.
“Then let’s get something to eat. We need a break from all this studying” she proposes, picking up her things and leading you out of the library, her hand in yours.
You don’t care to look around for Wanda to check if she’s watching, because this moment with Natasha is yours. She’s holding your hand, kissing you, spending time with you whenever she can, instead of hiding you like you’re a dirty secret.
By being herself, she’s given you the one thing you always craved for. Something real.
Finally, Friday comes and you’re buzzing with excitement, getting ready to meet Natasha.
“Wanna go to a party tomorrow? You can invite your girlfriend” Val says, painting her nails while Carol throws a ball in the air.
“We haven’t had the talk about being each other girlfriends”
“What? And you call yourself a lesbian? This is the second date, you should be adopting a cat by now”
“Like you and Val with Goose?”
“Yes!”
“Well, sorry to disappoint the sapphics, I’m just trying to not scare her away. And about the party, yeah, if Natasha’s up for it, we’ll stop by”
“Alright, it’s at Stark’s”
“Oh. Maybe not, then”
Your friends share a look, and you glare as they both stay silent.
“You can’t avoid her forever” Val is the first one to speak. “She’s gonna keep looking for you, getting in the middle of what could be a good relationship just because she thinks she can”
“Yeah, next time you see her, don’t jump out the window. Open the door and tell her off” Carol agrees.
“You did what?” Val looks at you, baffled.
“It’s ok, Nat was there to catch me. Speaking of which” you hear a knock on the door, and stand up. “See ya, cat ladies”
“Hey! We only have the one”
You laugh as you open the door, but then you’re interrupted by Natasha’s lips on yours.
“Hey”
“Hello” she smiles, and then looks behind you as your friends whistle.
“Meet Val and Carol. My two former best friends” you grumble when they make kissing sounds.
“Nice to meet you” Natasha greets over your shoulder.
“Bring her home at a decent time” Carol says. “Unless you plan on having sex. In that case take her back to yours so she doesn’t wake me up”
“I hate you so much” you sigh, pulling Nat away.
“We’ll see you at the party tomorrow”
“Sorry about them” you mumble when you’re going down the stairs.
“What was that about a party?” she asks, opening the car door for you.
“Ever heard of Tony Stark? Big house, bigger ego. Loves to have parties. We don’t have to go unless you want to” you say, half expecting her to turn down the invitation.
“If you want me to go I’ll be there”
“I just want us to spend some time together, doing whatever you want” you say, blushing.
“I did promise I’d try going to a party with you, and it seems like the perfect time. Could meet the rest of your friends”
“Alright then” you nod, excited and terrified about how things could turn out if a certain someone is there.
Carol is right, though. You can’t be looking over your shoulder all the time, expecting Wanda to approach you and open those wounds.
If you have closure, in whatever way that is, she won’t have the power to hurt you anymore.
It’s hard to focus on the movie with Natasha by your side, her hand clasped in yours over your leg. At one point, you lean against her shoulder and she kisses your temple.
She’s so perfect, it makes you dizzy.
“What did you think about the movie?” she asks as you go out of the theater, her arm around your waist.
“It was good. I’m glad I understood most of it without having watched those other Alien movies”
“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have picked a different one” she protests, pulling you to a stop.
“I just want to be with you. Plus you looked so excited to watch it, I had a hard time saying no”
“Is that so?” she arches an eyebrow.
“Don’t use that against me, Natasha” you warn, getting ready to argue but her lips silence you, and you moan against the kiss.
It’s not nearly enough, and you need more of her, not just kissing.
“So if I ask you to go back home with me, will you still have a hard time saying no?”
“On the second date? What do you think I am, a harlot?”
“I’d count the lake as a date of it’s own. And the library too”
“So, this is like the fourth one?” you say, counting with your fingers.
“You don’t have to, I was only…”
Natasha’s words are cut off by your lips on hers, and she holds back a moan of her own when you run your tongue over her bottom lip.
“I’d very much like to go back to your place”
The drive back is silent, but not in an uncomfortable way. There’s a certain tension, and the expectation of what is about to happen makes you feel like your heart is beating out of your chest.
“This is home” Natasha says, opening the door to her apartment. Of course, as a grad student, you expected her to have her own place, but you still admire how homey it feels. There are books everywhere, which makes sense, and pictures of Natasha’s family.
“It’s lovely” you say, turning back to look at her. The tour of the place is forgotten, as you watch Natasha approach you slowly, her hands dropping to your waist.
“Nervous?”
“Yeah. A bit” you admit, because lying to Natasha has never been something you’d consider doing. “I want this to be perfect. And for you to really like it”
For me to be enough.
“It’s already perfect” she says, coming closer and kissing you slowly. Your eyes close as you enjoy the sensation of her lips against yours, hands wandering to your lower back. Without breaking the kiss, you discard your jacket and take hers off as well, and she immediately pulls you against her, your hands holding her cheeks as she deepens the kiss.
“Are we doing it standing up?” you ask when she breaks apart, breathing heavily against your neck. “Because I’ve never tried it, but I am open to experimenting”
“You could just say that we should take this to the bedroom” she laughs against your temple.
“Now, where’s the fun in that?”
Still, she laughs as you pull her by the belt loop of her pants, guessing that her bedroom must be that last door to the left.
“Bingo” you smile, opening the door. There are more books scattered on the nightstand and the floor, but at least the bed is clear. “God, Nat, your reading is gonna kill me” you say as you fall to the bed and make her land on top of you.
“Sorry, I don’t have company very often”
“Are you a virgin?” you tease, knowing full well she’s dated in the past, though nothing serious.
Instead of answering, she kisses you again, her lips drifting down to your neck, and then lower to your stomach. In one swift motion, she unsclaps your bra and lifts your shirt up, her tongue swirling around a nipple. You moan, surprised at the contact, holding her head in place as she moves to the other nipple.
“Does it look like my first time?” Natasha says against your lips, her hands going down to undo the button of your jeans.
“I’m sorry, I was only joking, baby” you say, and it’s almost embarassing how desperate you sound.
“Good girl” she comments, pulling your pants down. You struggle with your underwear and Natasha’s too impatient, so she pulls it aside and starts eating you out, her tongue making circles and swirling around your clit.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck” you say, biting your hand to keep you from screaming. Natasha nudges your clit with her nose as she moves to go up and down and you’re close when she stops. ���Why?”
“I want to be inside you”
It’s a mystery, how your brain doesn’t stop functioning at that, but you manage to discard your shirt and start to undress Natasha, eager to feel her skin against yours. Once you’re both naked, she flips you, so you’re on top of her, straddling her lap.
“I’m debating if it would be better to have my fingers or my strap buried in your pussy” she says, and you wonder how the girl who is so well spoken can manage to be so crass.
Not that you’re complaining.
“Anything you want” you say, aware that you’re rubbing your center against her thigh.
“What’s that?”
“I… please. Just use me” you plead, desperate for some release.
Those words do it for Natasha, who takes out a strap on from her nightstand. You protest when she stands up to fasten it around her hips, feeling like you’re gonna combust if she’s not touching you.
“Shh, I’m here” she soothes you, laying on top of you and rubbing the strap against your entrance.
“Fuck me, Nat” you squeeze your legs around her, hoping she stops teasing you.
“That’s the plan, baby. Tell me if it hurts?” Natasha asks as she begins to fill you up, and you’re too far gone to give a verbal confirmation, nodding instead.
“More” you insist when she stops, searching for any sign of discomfort. Natasha thrusts forward, sinking the entire shaft and you moan, arching your back. “Harder”
Truthfully, Natasha’s never been so adventurous or forward in her sex life, but the way you’re pleading, clenching and panting underneath her, wakes something entirely new inside her. Pushing your knees against your chest, she moves in and out, reaching new spots that make you see stars.
“Yes, yes, yes” is all you manage to say, holding on to the sheets as your knuckles turn white. “Nat, I’m gonna…”
The words are stuck in your mouth as a powerful orgasm takes over, leaving you breathless. You feel Natasha slowing down her movements, and then she goes to kiss your neck, the strap still buried inside you.
“That was…” you sigh, trying to make your brain work. As your breathing steadies, your muscles relax and you let a finger run up and down Natasha’s side. “I don’t know what to say. You’re the one with the big words”
“That was fucking hot” she says, making you laugh. “And I’m not done with you”
Good thing your schedule was clear for the next day, because you weren’t getting any sleep tonight.
Your muscles feel sore when you wake up, stretching and turning in Natasha’s arms, watching her sleep.
Her alarm woke you up, but she’s still sound asleep.
“Nat” you say, moving her fiery hair out of her face. “Baby”
“No” she protests.
“Time to get up. You’re meeting your advisor, remember?”
Natasha curses under her breath, clearly not caring enough to wake up.
“Hey… what if I sit on your face?”
“I’m up” she says, opening her eyes and pulling you by the waist. “Come on, giddy up”
“Nuh-uh. Get dressed”
“Why would you lie about something like that?” she whines, burying her face in your neck.
“I didn’t lie, because technically, I didn’t say I’d do it right now. Get dressed, I’ll make breakfast and then we can go back to uni”
“Fine. But this discussion is not over” she kisses your cheeks, neck and then your lips, smiling as you laugh. “Morning”
“Morning, baby” you say, appreciating how beautiful she looks even with bed hair.
When she gets up, you find one of her t-shirts and go to the kitchen, looking at your options. You opt for french toast and make some coffee, because Natasha is definitely gonna need it to stay awake.
“Tastes amazing” she comments when you sit down to eat.
“Breakfast or me?” you tease and she almost chokes with her coffee. “Sorry, let’s eat”
“So, what are the plans for today?”
“Laundry, some homework. Standard stuff”
“Do you have any plans for lunch?” Natasha asks and you shake your head no. “Would you like to eat with me? After I’m done with my meeting and you finish your stuff, of course”
“Would love to” you say, smiling at how domestic and perfect it all feels.
Once you finish breakfast, you get changed and walk to Nat’s car. Parking close to your dorm, she kisses you goodbye and walks to the professor's offices.
You’re so distracted, thinking about everything that happened that you don’t notice Wanda sitting outside your dorm until you’re at the door.
“Wanda” you say, your hands in the pocket of your jeans. “Hey”
“Y/N? Did you just get here?” she says, looking around and then at the time on her phone. “You didn’t sleep here?”
“What do you want?”
“I want… to apologize”
You sigh, hoping the conversation ends soon so you don’t have to ever talk to her again.
“Anything else?”
“I thought he would change. He promised. But then it happened, again and again. And all I could think about is how you’d never do that to me”
“No, I wouldn’t. But now it’s too late. You made your choice”
“It was the wrong choice. Please, just give me another chance. I was scared before…”
“No, Wanda. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to hear it and we’re not gonna be anything at all. Natasha is… she’s amazing and I want to be with her. You had a choice to make and you went with him. And now… I have to choose the girl I’m in love with”
“Is there anything I can do or say…?”
“No. I’m sorry” you shake your head. Wanda nods, wiping away the tears. It does tug at your heart, seeing her so alone and broken. But it’s not on you to fix this.
Not anymore.
You let out a sigh when she leaves the hallway, turning in the other direction so she doesn’t see you wiping away a tear of your own.
Your eyes meet Natasha’s. She’s holding a bouquet, looking at you intensely.
“Nat. I can explain.”
The redhead drops the flowers and you’re scared she’ll walk away, but instead, she approaches you, lifting you as she kisses you. You sigh against her lips, holding on to her as if she’s the only thing in the world.
“I heard. Everything. You don’t have to explain anything” she puts you down, smiling. “I’m in love with you too”
“I don’t… know what to say” you laugh, craddling her face in your hands.
“No need to speak” she pulls you closer again, walking back until your're cornered against your door.
“I swear to God, if it’s that girl again I’m going to…” Carol opens the door without a warning, making you almost fall. “Awww, you guys! Val, come look! They’re kissing”
“With tongue?”
“I hate you so much” you complain, hiding your face in Natasha’s neck. She laughs, kissing your temple. “Now close the door so I can say goodbye to my girlfriend”
“Girlfriend? Val, they’re girlfriends!”
“Wohoo!” the girl screams from somewhere inside the apartment.
“Agh, it’s like having overbearing lesbian mothers” you slam the door shut, turning to Natasha. “I’m staying at your place tonight, or they will drive me insane with all their questions”
“Tonight, every night. Whatever you want. Just know… you’re getting very little sleep” she says with a smirk, kissing you.
“I can live with that”
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bethanydelleman · 2 months ago
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One criticism of Jane Austen is that she ignored the lower classes. I find this kind of dumb on multiple levels, primarily because not every work of fiction or social criticism needs to include every single social ill, but also because she does talk about servants/the lower classes quite a bit more than people realize and what she says is important.
The overall theme: kindness to servants/the lower classes/the poor is a very important mark of character.
We all know that Elizabeth Bennet changed her mind about Mr. Darcy after hearing a positive character reference from his housekeeper, but that is just one example of many. The Dashwood girls are better employers than John & Fanny since they easily find servants to move across the country with them: Her wisdom too limited the number of their servants to three; two maids and a man, with whom they were speedily provided from amongst those who had formed their establishment at Norland. Also, servants tended to brag about having wealthy employers, these three servants wanted both a far away and a less prestigious job. John & Fanny were really that bad!
Another mark against General Tilney's character is that he gets irrationally angry at/scares servants:
To such anxious attention was the General’s civility carried, that not aware of her extraordinary swiftness in entering the house, he was quite angry with the servant whose neglect had reduced her to open the door of the apartment herself. “What did William mean by it? He should make a point of inquiring into the matter.” And if Catherine had not most warmly asserted his innocence, it seemed likely that William would lose the favour of his master forever, if not his place, by her rapidity.
“Why! How can you ask the question? Because no time is to be lost in frightening my old housekeeper out of her wits, because I must go and prepare a dinner for you, to be sure.” (Henry, on his father coming to his house for a visit. This may be half a joke, but General Tilney is very critical of the meal)
Mrs. Ferrars's character is made quite plain in this complaint about paying annuities (basically a pension here) to some of her husband's old servants:
I have known a great deal of the trouble of annuities; for my mother was clogged with the payment of three to old superannuated servants by my father’s will, and it is amazing how disagreeable she found it. Twice every year these annuities were to be paid; and then there was the trouble of getting it to them; and then one of them was said to have died, and afterwards it turned out to be no such thing. My mother was quite sick of it. Her income was not her own, she said, with such perpetual claims on it; and it was the more unkind in my father, because, otherwise, the money would have been entirely at my mother’s disposal, without any restriction whatever.
Mrs. Ferrars is loaded, and she begrudges paying a few pounds to 3 servants. She is greedy and ungrateful.
Mrs. Norris's treatment of the servants is similar to her treatment of Fanny. It shows the depth of her miserliness (how much could one boy really eat?) and also cruelty:
"I had been looking about me in the poultry-yard, and was just coming out, when who should I see but Dick Jackson making up to the servants’ hall-door with two bits of deal board in his hand, bringing them to father, you may be sure; mother had chanced to send him of a message to father, and then father had bid him bring up them two bits of board, for he could not no how do without them. I knew what all this meant, for the servants’ dinner-bell was ringing at the very moment over our heads; and as I hate such encroaching people (the Jacksons are very encroaching, I have always said so: just the sort of people to get all they can), I said to the boy directly (a great lubberly fellow of ten years old, you know, who ought to be ashamed of himself), ‘I’ll take the boards to your father, Dick, so get you home again as fast as you can.’ The boy looked very silly, and turned away without offering a word, for I believe I might speak pretty sharp; and I dare say it will cure him of coming marauding about the house for one while. I hate such greediness—so good as your father is to the family, employing the man all the year round!”
It also highlights her hypocrisy, as Mrs. Norris has moved in during the play to help with the preparations, so she is getting free meals all week but she won't let this kid eat when he's helping his father (who is building the stage for the play)
Mr. Knightley considers the common people of Highbury before moving a path, even though he likely owns all of the land and can do whatever he wants:
"But John, as to what I was telling you of my idea of moving the path to Langham, of turning it more to the right that it may not cut through the home meadows, I cannot conceive any difficulty. I should not attempt it, if it were to be the means of inconvenience to the Highbury people, but if you call to mind exactly the present line of the path"
The kind Musgroves, who have given their nursemaid a retirement plan instead of turning her out:
A chaise was sent for from Crewkherne, and Charles conveyed back a far more useful person in the old nursery-maid of the family, one who having brought up all the children, and seen the very last, the lingering and long-petted Master Harry, sent to school after his brothers, was now living in her deserted nursery to mend stockings and dress all the blains and bruises she could get near her, and who, consequently, was only too happy in being allowed to go and help nurse dear Miss Louisa.
And who clearly are rewarded for this kindness.
Anne Elliot showing kindness to Mrs. Smith, who has nearly fallen right out of the gentry, vs. her fathers disdain for charity:
“Westgate Buildings!” said he, “and who is Miss Anne Elliot to be visiting in Westgate Buildings? A Mrs Smith. A widow Mrs Smith; and who was her husband? One of five thousand Mr Smiths whose names are to be met with everywhere. And what is her attraction? That she is old and sickly. Upon my word, Miss Anne Elliot, you have the most extraordinary taste! Everything that revolts other people, low company, paltry rooms, foul air, disgusting associations are inviting to you. But surely you may put off this old lady till to-morrow: she is not so near her end, I presume, but that she may hope to see another day. What is her age? Forty?”
Added to Sir Walter and Elizabeth's idea to cut expenses:
“Can we retrench? Does it occur to you that there is any one article in which we can retrench?” and Elizabeth, to do her justice, had, in the first ardour of female alarm, set seriously to think what could be done, and had finally proposed these two branches of economy, to cut off some unnecessary charities, and to refrain from new furnishing the drawing-room; to which expedients she afterwards added the happy thought of their taking no present down to Anne, as had been the usual yearly custom."
Vs. how the Crofts treat the poor:
She could have said more on the subject; for she had in fact so high an opinion of the Crofts, and considered her father so very fortunate in his tenants, felt the parish to be so sure of a good example, and the poor of the best attention and relief, that however sorry and ashamed for the necessity of the removal, she could not but in conscience feel that they were gone who deserved not to stay, and that Kellynch Hall had passed into better hands than its owners’.
Henry Crawford's moral fall begins with ignoring the needs of his tenants:
"I have half an idea of going into Norfolk again soon. I am not satisfied about Maddison. I am sure he still means to impose on me if possible, and get a cousin of his own into a certain mill, which I design for somebody else. I must come to an understanding with him. I must make him know that I will not be tricked on the south side of Everingham, any more than on the north: that I will be master of my own property... I have a great mind to go back into Norfolk directly, and put everything at once on such a footing as cannot be afterwards swerved from. Maddison is a clever fellow; I do not wish to displace him, provided he does not try to displace me; but it would be simple to be duped by a man who has no right of creditor to dupe me, and worse than simple to let him give me a hard-hearted, griping fellow for a tenant, instead of an honest man, to whom I have given half a promise already. Would it not be worse than simple? Shall I go? Do you advise it?”
Of course, Henry does not go to Everginham, as he knows is right, but instead goes to the party in London, where he again runs into Maria...
Yes, Austen didn't write servants/the lower classes as full characters in general, they are in the background and around the edges of the scenes, but over and over, we can sort characters into moral and immoral by their treatment of those less fortunate around them.
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cursedhaglette · 1 month ago
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Solavellan fic recs please I’m so hungry 🥺🥺
oh I'd love to provide! these have been my personal favorites so far (also fair warning, I am a solavellan fucked in DAI truther and that is reflected in my choices below so your mileage may vary)
Everything by niceasspavus - especially their fic Servitude which is an absolute masterwork. The prose is succinct but spectacular, the smut is excellent and never feels out of place (smut sometimes can with solavellan okay) and they dig into Solas' mind in a really beautiful way. They also started a modern AU fic and while that's not usually my trope at all, I've actually read what they have posted so far like three times because it's so good. Can't wait to see if they grace us with more.
Fellchaser by @rosieofcorona - Okay make that literally anything Darcy touches I recommend but Fellchaser is...I want to plaster my walls with it. The walls of my mind prison at least. The first time I read it, I literally read it five times back to back to back (I was admittedly very high but that's NOT THE POINT) because I was so taken with the prose and every detail. It is absolute perfection, seriously, the only thing wrong with it is that it isn't 100k words
What He Wouldn't Give by sugarhihello - a devastating take what happens immediately after the Crestwood scene we know and hate to love. I'm scared of writers who can make me want more of a scene like that and yet this fic gives me that
The Waiting by say_lene - solavellan thigh riding, need I say more?
Even Gods Need Miracles by callmebecks - A study of Solas' mindset from DAI to now include the DAV ending.
A Field as Wild as Your Heart by lillith_morgana - An exceptional take on the solavellan ending/post-DAV with gorgeous prose
Dreadful Recollections by @scaryanneee - if you know me from the bg3 era at all, you know Think of Me is a smut of all time so scaryanne joining us in solavellan hell has been SO FUN (for me personally at least eheheh) This little smut is so brilliant because it truly gave me so many ideas to play with for my own ship during this time period while also being so hot??? Also just read the tags on this and you know you're in for a great time
Handle With Care by feynite - I'm sure you've seen feynite if you've looked at solavellan fics because Looking Glass is the biggest one but I think this is just a really excellent little fic of theirs. Sad AND sexy - what every Solas fan is looking for I think
solavellan moots, please feel free to add on - I'm always looking for more and I'm sure others are too! anon - hope this gave you some tasty morsels and feel free to come back if you need more! xoxox
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rosenclaws · 4 months ago
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Pride & Prejudice || Leopold Mountbatten x Reader
Summary: You're an actress auditioning for theatre production of Pride & Prejudice and Leopold finds you practicing your lines.
a/n: Okay so, I need more leopold being an actor and cute moments so this was born. Full confession. I have never watched or read Pride & Prejudice so I am very sorry if I messed up anything aksdfhl. Anyways i hope u like it!!!
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The fire escape has to be Leopold's favorite place. He sits on the small chair and watches the bustling city below him. Overwhelming is an understatement when it comes to the last couple weeks.
Falling into the future sounds like a work of fiction, yet it was his reality. Adjusting hasn’t been the easiest but he’s lucky to have Kate and Charlie and well, you. 
“Do you think I could have ever considered marrying the man who has ruined, perhaps forever, the happiness of my beloved sister?” Leopold perks up at the sound of your voice. 
You’re Kate's neighbor, kind of. You live below her. Leopold has seen you a few times, mostly when you lock yourself out of your apartment and need to climb through Kate's fire escape. He knows you’re an actor like Charlie but in the day time you work at a coffee shop. 
You served him once or twice when he came to visit you. Your knowledge of theater is extensive and Leopold always had an interest in the stage so conversation came easy. You also loved movies, something he was completely unfamiliar with. He remembers your eyes lighting up at the very idea of showing him your favorite films. A soft smile across his face as he recalls your many movie nights. Though he didn’t quite understand every movie, he could care less when you were so passionate about each and every one of them.
“You arrogantly and unjustly maneuvered Mr. Bingley away from Jane. Can you deny it?” The dialogue catches his attention, you must be practicing for a show. He climbs down the fire escape to your apartment. 
“Your manner…Ugh!” You fall back onto your couch as you throw the sides onto the coffee table. 
“I’m never going to get this right.” You groan helplessly. 
“I thought you sounded lovely.” You let out a small scream as you hear another voice. Turning your head you see Leopold sitting on your fire escape. 
“Leo! What have I said about knocking?” 
“My apologies.” He climbs through the window and walks over to you. He looks at the pieces of paper and reaches down to pick it up. 
“Pride and Prejudice, I had no idea they turned this into a play.” He flips through some of the pages. He remembers reading the book and enjoying it quite a bit. 
“Have you gotten the part?” You scrunch your face as you shake your head. 
“No. Auditions are next week. I…” You hesitate to continue but he smiles softly and you cave instantly. 
“I wanted to audition for Elizabeth but a couple friends told me I’d probably be a better Charlotte.” 
Not that you had anything against the character and a part is a part no matter how small, but you wanted to play more than a side character. Leopold's brows furrow as he sets down the script. 
“Nonsense, do not listen to them. I think you would make a perfect Elizabeth.” He compliments sincerely. Of course you would, he thinks. You’d be perfect in any role. 
“Thanks.” Your eyes drift to the sides on the table. Leopold stands with his arms behind his back, even in casual clothing he radiates this aura unlike anything you’ve seen. 
“You know Leo,” You smile as an idea pops into your head. “I think you should audition too.” Picturing him as Mr. Darcy is easy. After he did his butter commercial, you realized he was a natural for acting and with his background, he’d be perfect for period pieces. Not to mention how handsome he is. You’re sure the director would be tripping over himself to get Leopold a role. Leopold seems uncertain at your suggestion. 
“Here,” You pick up the sides and hand him the one for Mr. Darcy. He skims over the lines and frowns. 
“I do not recognize this.” 
“Oh yeah, they’re from the movie. The director wanted to include his big monologue and the kiss.” You explain, making a mental note to show him the movie later. 
“I understand wanting to take creative liberties and all but…” Maybe he’s a stickler for the classics but he isn’t exactly fond of changing such a well written book. 
“Just give it a try.” He sighs and stands a bit taller. 
“You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my Aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I had scarcely allowed myself before.” He looks up from the script and you give him an encouraging smile. 
“If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me forever.” You want to melt under his gaze. It’s not fair how easily the words flow out of his mouth. How naturally charming he is. 
‘“If, however, your feelings have changed…” To your surprise he sets down the paper and walks closer to you, holding out his hand to you. Hesitantly you take his hand, unsure of where he was going with this. He pulls you up, his eyes never leaving yours. 
“I could, I would have to tell you, you have bewitched me body and soul,” His hand gently grabs your chin as he steps closer to you. You stand frozen in complete shock. The script is long forgotten, the pages having fallen from his hands. 
“And I love and love and love you. And never wish to be parted from you from this day on.” He finishes his monologue as a whisper. You part your lips but no words come out, wanting to hold onto this moment for longer. 
“I believe you mentioned a kiss,” He mumbles. 
“It’s uh, towards the end…” He hums and without another word he gently kisses you. 
Your eyes flutter closed as you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. His lips are so soft, so gentle yet so passionate. One of his hands snakes to your lower back, guiding you even closer to him. The kiss breaks and you’re left breathing heavily, smiles on both of your faces. 
“You’re really good at this. Maybe you should become an actor.” You say jokingly. He chuckles and brushes his thumb along your cheek. 
“I was not acting,” He admits. 
“You are truly, utterly, bewitching and If you were to accept, I would die a happy man.” Jesus, he knows how to talk. 
“I would be an idiot to say no to you.” You grab his face and crash your lips onto his. He steps back but quickly matches your fervor. 
“Join me for dinner tonight, so I can court you properly.” He says breathlessly, his face slightly flushed. 
“Properly? So you don’t normally kiss a girl before dinner?” You say teasingly. 
“No, But for the sake of theater, perhaps I can make an exception.” That’s as forward as you’ve ever seen from Leopold, an innocent smile on his face but a clear spark in his eyes. Smirking, you glance at the scattered pages on the ground. 
“Good, because I think we need to run the scene again and again.” 
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spacelatinoluvr · 1 month ago
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neighbor across the hall (part 1) 18+
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summary: newly divorced, you move into an apartment complex, living alone for the first time in years. while you're still adapting and making friends you find that the single father and his daughter across the hall find you very fascinating. word count: 6.8k pairing: modern!Logan Howlett x fem!reader tags: modern au, smut if you squint really hard, rough Logan, dad Logan, boxer Logan, neighbors to lovers, Logan is a softie, !mdni! part 2
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“I know Mom-“
You sang, your feet leading you up the creaky staircase to your third floor apartment. You were fiddling with your purse, trying to find your keys as the phone was tucked into your shoulder and pressed against your ear. Your mom’s muffled voice rang again, more upset than before.
“I told you I don’t want you to be by yourself. What about your friend, uh what was her name… Margie?”
You sighed, still digging through the messy purse.
“Darcy, her name was Darcy, Mom.”
“Well why don’t you two become roommates? She was a sweet girl-“
You paused trying to find the missing keys when you reached your apartment door.
“She’s living with her girlfriend… Besides, I'll be fine. I need to be on my own for a while. This neighborhood isn’t too bad, a few drug dealers here and there.”
Your mom gasped lightly and you could almost see her hitting your shoulder through the phone. She said your name loudly, almost in a warning to not joke about that.
You giggled lightly, letting out a quick “Aha!” when your fingers found the keys.
“Kidding. Ok, well I gotta let you go Mom. I have to do dishes, clean, y’know what single people do.”
“Ok sweetie, just be safe.”
“I always am.”
You both said your goodbyes before you hung up the phone and opened the door of your freshly furnished apartment. You entered and it was still slightly messy from unpacking and it had the smell of old mildewy carpet. You set your phone and keys on the counter, sighing as you glanced around the small apartment. The room was quiet and still, and the only thing that you could hear was the feet pounding in the room above you and the honking of cars outside your open window.
The rest of your day was boring to say the least. You cooked yourself dinner, a frozen pizza and a glass of red wine. You then proceed to waltz around your living room, with said glass of wine in hand, trying to decide what to unpack first with your eyes flying to a box of old wedding gifts labeled “Shit asshole didn't want!”. You thought about it then and there that maybe you should've thrown away the ‘shit’ from your cheating ex-husband but you couldn't. You paused, the sound of bass rumbling through the walls, vibrating your kitchen. You stopped in your kitchen, pressing your ear against the wall. The melody of some old rock song you didn't know flowing through your walls. And then it stopped.
You walked towards your door, hearing the yelling of an old lady who lived a few doors down. You had briefly met earlier that week, her name slipping from your mind. You opened your door to find your neighbor next to you and the older woman arguing. You leaned against the doorframe, the wine glass was still in your hand, and you swirled it before taking another sip as you watched the conversation play out.
“-turn the music down!”
“It wasn't even loud, Sheryl, it was like…quiet.” Sheryl. That was her name. A name to suit a cranky old lady that was for sure. You couldn't see the neighbor, due to a head of gray curly hair blocking your sight.
“Quiet?!”
“For me, yes.”
“Just turn it down before I tell the landlord, again.”
“No wait- ok fine i'll turn it down.” They both said something, but it was too quiet and they were too far away for you to hear. And then the old lady turned around her eyes meeting yours before she scolded you, and walked down the stairs. The elevator was broken, and had been for a few months from what your landlord told you. You were glad you didn’t live on the fifth floor. You watched her until she was gone and met the eyes of your neighbor. She was wearing a large baggy t-shirt with the band Metallica plastered over it and her hair was black and short, ears length. She was wearing plaid pajama pants and bunny slippers, which made you slightly surprised.
“Just to let you know, it doesn't bother me.” You said as she stared at you, her eyes squinting at you.
“Noted.” She said before she turned around, about to shut the door but you were fast and you stopped her door with your hand, and she gazed at you through a small gap.
“What are you doing?”
“Introducing myself.” You said, and you gave her your name. She stared at you, and you waited for her to introduce herself too but she just stood there staring at you for a few seconds. But, then she looked down at the glass of wine in your hand and opened the door a little wider.
“I’m Lee.” She introduced, sticking her hand out to you. You shook it lightly, and she was about to close the door again when you spoke up.
“Uh, I live next door. Three-sixteen”
“I know.” She said before she slammed the door in your face and you were stuck staring at the numbers 314 before music blared again, slightly quieter than before but still loud. You turned around sighing, walking back to your door but stopped when you saw a girl, no older than twelve, sitting at the stairs staring at you. You smiled at her and waved, but she didn't even budge. She made no move to wave back or even manage a smile.
She just stared at you, eyes not moving. It was slightly intimidating. She kept staring at you until you made it back to your door, and entered your apartment. You blew air out of your mouth, and stared at the boxes again, your hands on your hips as you set the empty glass of win in the sink. They were haunting you waiting to be put away. And that's what you ended up doing for the rest of the night and only one box sat, untouched by you.
The next morning you planned to go job-hunting. You had tried every place in the area hiring for servers, but none seemed the least bit interested in actually hiring people. Before your divorce, you had planned on becoming a professional ballet dancer, and you were quite good, amazing even, but your ex-husband had demanded you do something to at least make a little more money. And you did. You quit going to dance school to become a full-time bartender at some lousy bar. You always thought your ex-husband was jealous of you, and now you truly believed he had crushed your dreams because he was envious of your talent. The last place on your list was a bar a block from your apartment complex, walking distance. It was small, but loud as you entered the bar.
You sat down at the bar, all the way at the end, waiting for someone to speak to you, but a few minutes went by before you heard yelling from the kitchen.
“Fine! I don’t give a fuck, fire me! Good luck finding someone to get you money!” A girl, with curly black hair and gold hoops on her ears, exited the kitchen as a chubby bald man trailed behind her. Both of them looked heated, in some kind of argument and you sat up, listening.
“Maria, you can't solicit guests here, that's prostitution!” He yelled, his hands flying in the air.
“Why do you care?”
“Because you're my niece and I really don't want your mother-”
“Ok well I quit!” The man put his fingers to his forehead, and they both started yelling in a foreign language you couldn’t understand before Maria stormed out of the bar with a scream, the door slamming behind her. The man, possibly the owner, looked around the bar before his eyes landed on you. You looked away quickly, to hide yourself but he started to approach you.
“Hi, uh sorry about that,” He cleared his throat. “Can I get you anything?” He asked and you looked at him before replying.
“Are you hiring?”
“As of three seconds ago, yes.”
“Need a new server?”
Within three minutes of speaking with the owner, whose name you learned was Pascal, he had hired you on the spot and asked you to come in the next Friday, prepared for training. You assured him you had loads of experience and didn't need to train but he insisted. He told you the bar was always slow, mostly consisting of older men and told you to be ready for anything these men tried. After training that Friday, you got home late that night, around twelve in the morning, exhausted. You entered your apartment, showering and changing into shorts and a tank top (It was summer-time and the AC didn't work on your floor).
As you got into bed, ready to fall asleep for the night, a loud guitar bass sounded through your apartment. You groaned, grabbing a pillow and shoving it to your face and you could still hear the music coming from your neighbor. After about ten minutes of this, you sat up walking to your door to speak to your neighbor and their music. It usually didn't bother you but tonight you were not in the mood to not get sleep over AC/DC. You knocked on Lee’s door not once but five times, the final time banging both of your fists loudly against the door before the music stopped and Lee opened the door, a guitar pick in her mouth.
“What?” She questioned, as if she were clueless.
“Please turn it down, I really need some sleep.”
“No can do, I have a showcase tomorrow.”
“Just turn it down, my room is right next door.” Lee nodded before she slammed the door in your face, the music blaring again seeming more loud than before. You groaned loudly, kicking her door annoyingly with your foot.
“If you ask her to turn it down, she just makes it louder.” You turned to find a man you hadn't met before, keys in his hand as he was watching you, a smug look on his face. As if this was amusing to him. He was wearing jeans and boots, and a large jacket, as if it wasn't eighty degrees outside. He had brown hair, and gray hairs were poking through. He looked permanently angry, the lines across his face showing that. He was across the hall from you, the only thing separating you were the stairs. You crossed your arms over your chest, scoffing.
“You can't hear it from my apartment.” He said, and you stood up straighter, your hands dropping at your side, his invitation surprising you. Was he actually inviting you into his apartment? You laughed, slightly offended.
“If you think-” He turned his back to you, opening the door with his keys before he slammed the door shut, the sound echoing down the hallway. You stood there in disbelief before you entered your apartment, the sound of guitars and drums the only thing you heard for the next two hours.
“Darcy, you have to visit me. This place is wack, there's an annoying emo girl next to me, some old lady downstairs that's always complaining about something, this Firestarter lookalike and some creepy guy across the hall.” You complained on the phone the next night, talking to your best friend, Darcy. You met Darcy at college, she was a music major and actually graduated pursuing her dreams of becoming an Opera singer. She was fantastic and you always loved watching her.
“Sounds fun. All of our neighbors are old couples.” You groaned, plopping down on your couch.
“I wish.”
“How are you holding up? And don't lie to me.” You glanced at the untouched box of things from your ex-husband.
“I'm fine, really.” She said your name over the phone, almost like a warning. “I'm fine!” You said, laying down on the couch.
“Ok well it’s only been a couple months. How’s your new job going?”
“It’s good. Enough to keep me going for now, my boss is…weird but not creepy. The place is-” You stopped talking when a knock sounded throughout your apartment coming from your door.
“Hey, I'll talk to you later Darcy.” You got up from the couch, hanging up the phone. You opened your door to find no one there except the mysterious girl on the staircase. You exited your apartment, closing the door and you leaned against it. You two stared at each other for a while before you spoke up.
“Do you like staring at strangers?” She didn't move but continued to stare at you. For the past week she had been always sitting at the staircase when you left or entered staring at you.
“Ok, which apartment do you live in-?” The door across the hall opened, and the man from the night before exited. He got caught off guard seeing you and looked a little surprised. He ignored you, and walked towards the staircase picking up the girl's hand and dragging her towards Lee’s apartment. He banged on the door, and a few seconds later a very upbeat Lee opened the door.
“Oh, Wolvy, got a hot date tonight?” Lee’s eyebrows went up, wiggling suggestively.
“Just watch her please.” He said gruffly, before pushing her lightly towards Lee. Lee sighed, turning back to look into her apartment and turning back to an annoyed ‘Wolvy’. He rolled his eyes, muttering to Lee about not calling him ‘Wolvy’. He turned around to leave and as he was going down the stairs his eyes met yours and then he was gone.
Before they both entered Lee’s apartment, the girl pulled Lee’s ear towards her mouth, whispering something in her ear. Lee burst out laughing before telling her a straightforward ‘No. Absolutely not.’. The girl just stared at her before Lee sighed, turning towards you.
“She wants to know-“ The girl growled, glaring at Lee. “I want to know if you’d like to join us for the evening.” You blinked, smiling.
“Of course, I would be delighted. You know-“ Lee shushed you.
“Just come on.”
Lee's apartment was exactly how you imagine it would be. Multiple posters of rock bands you didn’t know were decorated across every wall. There were multiple guitars and a set of drums in the corner of her living room. Her apartment was a mess but it seemed to suit her anxious state as she’d frantically ran around trying to clean up old Chinese takeout sitting on the counter and clean laundry on her couch.
“Just uh- sit on the floor.” Lee said as she ran to her room quickly. You and the little girl sat far away from each other, as you waited for Lee to come back. You looked at her, awkwardly smiling. She just stared at you, no emotions.
“So uh- how’s school?”
“She’s homeschooled!” Lee yelled from where she was and you clicked your tongue feeling embarrassed.
“How’s um homeschool?” She just kept staring, before she began to open her mouth to speak. Then Lee bounded into the room loudly, cutting her off.
“Ok what should my Halloween costume be, kid?” She was holding up two costumes, shaking them in front of the kid’s face.
“It’s August?” You questioned, and the girl smiled before she pointed at the one with Jean shorts and a black tank top.
“Exactly what I was thinking!” She yelled before running off to her room again. “Oh and her name is Laura!” She yelled from her room again and you nodded.
“Well, hello Laura.” You said before you told her your name, introducing yourself.
“Hi.” She said quietly, almost shyly. Lee then ran into the room again.
“Did she just talk to you?” She said, smiling at you. “That’s awesome! Logan is going to be psyched when he hears-“
Logan.
“Logan?”
“Her legal guardian. Y'know the big gruff dude that’s all ‘I’m big and angry because I’m lonely’” She said the last part in a deep voice and you laughed nodding your head.
“If he has Laura, why is he lonely?” You asked, but you knew what she meant.
“In all the years I’ve been here he’s never once brought a girl home. Ever. And I mean never.”
“Where does he go then?”
“To box.”
“Box?” Lee nodded, sitting on the ground next to Laura.
“He used to be this really big professional boxer. The Wolverine,” That tracked. “He got hurt real bad and just never went back. He’s just recently been training again. I guess that’s his release besides sex. Because the guy never gets puss-” She said before she laughed again and you looked at Laura embarrassed.
“Don’t worry she’s heard me say way worse things. Right, kid?” She said, ruffing her hair with her knuckles. Laura groaned, pushing her hand away.
“I’m not a kid.” She grumbled, glaring at Lee.
The rest of the night consisted of Lee and Laura arguing occasionally. Lee would make fun of Laura and then Laura would return that with a glare. You sat quietly in the corner, laughing at them. At the end of the night, the doorbell rang at around midnight and Laura and Lee were fast asleep while you were wide awake watching some cartoons with them.
You stood walking to the door, and opened it to find Logan looking less angry than before. He looked surprised to see you at the door, he must have been expecting Lee. He just stared at you, not saying a word, and you cleared your throat standing with the door open. You pointed your thumb at them.
“They’re sleeping.” You said before stepping outside, closing the door quietly. “Here for Laura?” You asked leaning against the door with your back. He stared at you for a second before he shook his head, like he was in a trance.
“Um, yeah.” He said, tucking his hands in his coat pockets. It wasn’t even cold outside. Yet he still wore that damn jacket. You stuck your hand out, telling him your name and his eyes widened before he reluctantly cupped your hand. His hands were large and rough, and they were bruised with red and purple slightly bleeding. You stopped shaking his hand, to grip it and bring it to your eyes.
“What happened to your hand?” He pulled his hand away fast, hiding it in his coat again. He got flustered, shaking his head.
“Work.” He replied shortly, and you hummed, crossing your arms over your chest.
“Laura’s a great kid.” You said, motioning with your head inside the apartment to where Laura was fast asleep. He nodded, trying to hide a smile.
“Yeah. I know.”
“I can wake her if you want-“
“No, no she needs the sleep. I’ll just grab her.” You led Logan inside, and he carried Laura bridal style until you guys were outside Lee’s apartment again.
“I can open your door if you want.” You said, smiling invitingly at him. He stood there for a second before he nodded telling you that his keys were in his coat pocket. You moved closer to him, grabbing his keys, close enough to smell him. He smelled like leather and cedar wood, and you fought the urge to get closer. His head was turned the other way, away from you and you took the keys from his pocket following him to his apartment. You opened his door before letting Logan enter first, to go lay Laura down.
You stood outside for a moment, looking at the dark apartment through the open door, before you muttered fuck it walking inside. You set the keys on the kitchen counter, observing the layout. There were no lights on, and it was extremely cold. There wasn’t any decor from what you could see through the darkness, on furniture and utensils. It was also very clean, the opposite of Lee’s apartment. It looked like Logan didn’t have much to clean. Logan’s boots sounded and he found you standing at the kitchen counter, a shocked look on his face.
“Oh uh- sorry I just-“ You started to say, before Logan stopped you putting his hands up.
“No, it’s alright.” It was silent for a few seconds before Logan moved to turn the light on in the kitchen. It looks like you were taking up his offer after all.
“You can uh sit down if you want.” He pointed towards his brown leather couch in the center of the apartment and you closed his apartment door, before sitting down with a loud plop. He slowly sat down next to you, on the opposite end of the couch. It was awkwardly quiet again before you spoke.
“Is she your daughter?” You asked, turning your body towards him. He was silent for a moment and you were scared that you overstepped.
“No.” Was all he said and it was quiet once again. You nodded, getting that it was a sensitive topic.
“If you’re wondering, Laura asked me to come with them, for some reason.” You said, laughing quietly.
“Yeah, I noticed she’s been stalking you.” He said, turning to look at you for the first time. He looked away from you quickly, shaking his head.
“I’m sorry about what I said to you. The first night I met you- that was-“ You furrowed your eyebrows shaking your head.
“No, it didn’t bother me. I’m here now anyway.” You awkwardly laughed not realizing the meaning behind your words. Fuck. That’s not what you meant to say. You got slightly embarrassed, your cheeks feeling hot. He just kind of stared at you, swallowing roughly.
“It’s late um-“ You stood and he stood with you.
“Yeah.”
“Good night,” You paused to look at him. “Logan.”
The next morning was even more awkward. You left your apartment, to run to errands to find Logan leaving his apartment at the exact same time. You both stared at each other, before you said a quiet hello before trodding down the stairs.
The next two months consisted of both of you bumping into each other, awkwardly saying hello, before trying to avoid each other. It was kind of hard, you both arrived and left at the same time. You had day shifts and he always seemed to be leaving when you would arrive.
You were currently in Lee’s apartment, and she was eating a bowl of cheese puffs with chopsticks. You were sitting on her couch, chowing down on potato chips, watching her skeptically.
“And tell me why you’re eating with chopsticks?”
“My grandmother gave these to me!”
“And you’re using them for… Cheetos?”
“Yes.” She replied, before stuffing another cheese puff into her mouth.
“So what are you wearing to my Halloween party?” Lee asked, wiggling her eyebrows. You fought the urge to laugh at her, watching her mouth slowly become covered in orange dust.
“I’m not going.” You said, hugging your knees to your chest and setting the bag of chips down. Lee looked at you with a mouth open full of Cheetos.
“What?!” She yelled at you, throwing the chopsticks on the table near the couch.
“I don’t know. I’m not a partier-“
“There isn’t going to be that many people. Just like my band, the people in this complex, others-“
“That sounds like a lot. Besides, I haven't gone out since the divorce.”
“Exactly. That gives you all the reasons to go.” She was right of course. You hadn’t dressed up in months. You hadn’t felt confident since your ex-husband gave you those papers to file for a divorce. You groaned, flopping your belly on the couch.
“Fine. I’ll go. But, I’m not saying for long.” You said and her smile soon fell.
“Sure…what if I told you I could convince Logan to come?” She said, a mischievous look in her eyes.
“What about him?” You were acting like you didn’t know what she was talking about. You had been avoiding Logan for about two months after your awkward encounter. You told Lee about it and she told you he was always giving you ‘fuck me’ eyes. You laughed it off, but you kind of hoped he was.
“If I tell him you’re going he’ll definitely go.” You shook your head.
“I doubt it. He’s very…introverted and quiet.” You noticed how much he liked to be by himself. You wondered if it was by choice or not. He did have Laura, and that might’ve been all he needed.
“He’s lonely. A lonely old man who needs a release.” She said, sighing and sitting next to you again. Whenever she got excited about something she opted to stand when talking to you.
“So, you know my sister right? Complete opposite of me?” Lee had told you about her twin sister, Kim, and how she was a fashion designer. “Well, I sort of kind of told her to make you a costume.”
“A costume? I’m not twelve.” You said, slightly grumbling.
“But, that’s the fun!”
“Well, what costume is it?” Lee looked like she was holding her breath before she told you.
“A sexy devil.”
“Lee…”
“Come on! It'll be fun! I’m going to be Marilyn Manson-”
“Marilyn Manson? Really?”
“I already told Kim you'd wear it.”
“Lee!” You pushed her lightly, and she laughed as she fell on the couch.
The next thing you knew, it was the night of Lee’s infamous Halloween party. You were uncomfortably adjusting the latex suit Lee had given you. You had no idea just how slutty this costume was. It was incredibly tight in all the right places and was low-cut leaving no one any room for imagination. You accompanied it with black heels and two red devil horns on your head. God, what were you thinking?
Lee gasped, a loud squeal leaving her lips as she opened the door to find you standing there, playing with the top part of your outfit. She was wearing white face paint and black eyeliner to look like Marilyn Manson but she ended up looking like a Kiss member with her layered straight black hair and alternative outfit.
“Is this too much?” You asked, still adjusting. Lee pulled your hands away, her jaw at the floor.
“Damn mama! I see you! It's Halloween! Nothing is too much.” She said, pulling you into the apartment that was blasting music already. There were a few people present, not many faces you recognized except some people from downstairs. Lee quickly pulled you into the kitchen, and handed you a red solo cup with some sort of neon green liquid. You both leaned against the counter-top.
“Okay, so I did some convincing and I’m most certain Logan will be here tonight. Probably to steal a beer and leave but, that's better than nothing. Mrs. Baker downstairs is taking the kid trick-or-treating.” You still didn't understand why Lee always told you about Logan’s whereabouts. It’s not like you cared. You somewhat cared. You always found yourself looking back at his apartment every time you left or entered your own apartment. He was only across the hall. One door away. You nodded, trying to seem nonchalant about it, as you took a sip out of the drink in your hand and quickly started to cough.
“What the fuck is in here?” You asked, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.
“Tequila, tequila and more tequila. And a drop of green food coloring.” You laughed lightly, before setting the cup back on the counter.
“Yeah, I'll pass.”
Soon enough, the apartment was filled with about 30 or so people. Not a lot, but there were a ton of people in Lee’s small apartment. You had been sitting on her couch for the past hour watching people come and go. You were bored out of your mind. You didn't know anybody besides Lee, and she was busy mingling with her guests. You stood up from the couch, about to leave for the door, when a certain neighbor entered the party.
Logan didn’t see you at first as he scanned the partygoers. He kept his head low as he entered, probably not wanting to draw any attention to himself. You watched as he made a bee-line for the kitchen and you followed him into the empty room. You found him tucked below the fridge as you entered, probably looking for a beer. You spoke up as he was moving things around, still searching.
“The beer’s in the cooler over there.” He jumped up, hitting his head on the top of the fridge as he turned around to find you standing there. He said nothing as he stared at you, his eyes moving up and down your figure in that costume. He swallowed loudly, before he looked around to find the cooler, pulling a beer can out of it and cracking it open. He took a long sip, his eyes falling upon you again. You were still standing there staring at him. He wasn't wearing a jacket but a regular t-shirt and you realized this was the first time you had ever seen his arms. And you couldn't stop staring at them as he took swigs from his can of beer.
You quickly decided to distract yourself by grabbing a red solo cup and filling it with whatever god awful concoction Lee had made. You took a sip before you moved to stand on the same side as Logan, hopping on top of the counter to sit. It was quiet again between the two of you, even though Logan had not spoken a word yet, and the only sound was the drowned out music in the background. You both were fairly close to each other, about as thigh’s width apart. He was leaning his back against the counter while you were sitting upon it. You turned towards him, hiding your smile below your cup as you took a sip.
“So, what's your costume?” You asked, as he stiffened slightly, taking another long sip from his beer before slamming it on the counter and grabbing another one from the cooler.
“The Wolverine.” He said, cracking open the can and you swore you saw him smirk a bit before taking a sip. You snorted, taking a gulp from your own drink.
“Can you guess what I am?” You asked, tilting your head to the side, gesturing with your hands at your costume. His head turned to look at you, scanning your frame and the way it sat atop the counter.
“Yourself?” He asked, turning his head away from you and hiding his smile beneath his beer can. His hands were gripping the beer can and you couldn't help but stare at them. They were large and thick, almost encompassing the can whole beneath his grip. You shook the thoughts away.
“Funny!” You said, narrowing your eyes. You both sat in comfortable silence, sipping on your drinks when you turned to him again, your body facing his. “What made you come?” You asked innocently. He took another long gulp from his beer before answering.
“Lee begged me to come. I wasn’t going to take the kid out trick-or-treating just because well… I just never have. Mrs…” He paused as if to remember her name.
“Baker?”
“Yeah her… she asked to take her this year because her grandchildren weren’t coming.” He took another sip from his beer before setting it on the counter.
“What made you come?” He asked, turning his head to look at you.
“Lee insisted.” You said, laughing as Logan shook his head. Just then, as if you summoned her, Lee barged into the kitchen, laughing as she did. You and Logan both jumped, turning to look at her quickly. She stopped laughing as soon as she saw you both.
“I knew it!” She screamed, running back out into the party. You furrowed your eyebrows, turning back to Logan to see him grabbing a third beer from the cooler. You downed the last bit of your drink, before hopping off the counter and Logan looked up at you, his eyebrows raised.
“I’ll uh- see you around?” You said, leaning against the counter.
“You leavin’?” He asked, setting the unopened can of beer on the counter, his hand next to it as he leaned. You didn’t realize how close he was until you could feel his breath on your neck. He was staring at the uncovered spot on your neck, as he spoke to you.
“Yeah- I have work tomorrow and-“
“So?” Why was he so adamant? You tilted your head, smirking at him.
“Do you want me to stay?” Say it. You wanted him to say it so bad. You wanted him to tell you to stay, to go back to his apartment. But he didn’t. He just shook his head, moving away from you and a frown made its way on your face. You sighed, slightly annoyed.
“Tell Laura happy Halloween.” You said, crossing your arms over your chest and leaving the kitchen, leaving Logan alone with his beer. You didn’t even look at him before you left. Why was he always making insinuations but never acting on them?
The next few weeks you had been ignoring him whenever he looked to you across the hallway. He looked hurt, but you didn’t care. You were so annoyed. But you didn’t know why.
Your boss had recently put you behind the bar, assigning you to later shifts. And one particular night, the neighbor across the hall was now at a stool in front of you. You were pouring a bourbon for a regular across the bar, you looked up for a second meeting the eyes of Logan who was watching you intensely. Your mouth fell open and you jumped slightly not expecting to see him at all.
“I didn’t know you worked here.” That was a complete lie. Logan had actually known for weeks that you worked here. You ignored him, walking across the bar to hand your customer their drink. You hastily returned to Logan, a beer in your hand. You set it in front of him and his eyebrows went up, taking the bottle into his hands. He was about to say something else when another customer to your left rang out.
“Hey, sweetheart! Another one?” The man jiggled his empty beer bottle in the air and your face visibly dropped, your shoulders stiffening. Logan noticed, perking up to look at the man across the bar. You clenched your jaw, forcing a sweet polite smile on your face as you turned to the drunken man.
“Sure thing.” You muttered, keeping your voice steady but Logan’s gaze lingered on you as you moved around to grab another beer. Logan took a long swig from his drink, before setting it on the counter still staring at the oblivious man across the bar. When you gave the man his beer, he winked at you making your skin crawl. Logan’s hand tightened around the empty beer bottle when you turned around oblivious to the man very obviously staring at your ass.
“What the fuck you looking at pal?” The man snarled at Logan and Logan growled deeply.
“Mind your business, bub.” He said grimly, and the man at the bar stood abruptly. Logan was staring straight on at the man his hand clenched tightly around the neck of the bottle until-
Crack!
The bottle split open, falling into Logan’s palm and onto the counter of the bar. Glass was all over his hands and he was slightly bleeding. Your mouth fell open, and you rushed to grab a rag from underneath the bar. You appeared back in front of Logan as he looked up at you. You sighed loudly, grabbing his hand and wrapping the white cloth around his wounds.
“What the fuck?” You muttered quietly, still holding his hand. He didn’t shy away from you or move away. He just swallowed harshly as you held his bleeding palm. “How did you do that?” You let go of his hand sighing, and walking around the bar to meet Logan. You turned to face the kitchen as you stood next to Logan.
“I’m taking my break now!” You shouted, cupping your hands over your mouth and grabbing Logan by the hand out the back door towards an alleyway. Logan didn’t even have time to react before you were harshly pulling him by his uninjured hand towards the back door. You exited the door slamming it shut before shoving Logan down on a crate.
“What the fuck, Logan?” Logan was confused why you were upset, and you anxiously paced in front of him digging your fingers through your hair.
“You’re mad at me?”
“Yes! Why the fuck are you here?” Logan didn’t have an answer. He didn’t know why he was there. He was there for a drink, that was it. At least that’s what he told himself. He found out weeks ago where you worked. He hadn’t worked up the courage to see you. Until now.
“I…” You scoffed, a bitter laugh escaping you.
“See you never seem to have an answer do you?”
“An answer for what exactly?”
You stopped pacing, narrowing your eyes at him. The tension was thick, thicker than the cold November breeze that rang through the tight alleyway. You tried to keep your emotions in check. You tried so hard. But you couldn’t. It was hard when you were so angry. So mad. And for what? Because Logan had been avoiding you? Because you did the same? Truly what were you mad about? A second later your voice betrayed you, as if it had a mind of its own.
“Do you not get it?”
Logan froze. Logan looked down at his hands, softly raising the hand that you had put a rag on, blood softly soaking through. The hand you had touched so delicately. So softly that he wanted you to touch it again. Touch him again.
“Why did you get so angry back there?”
Logan looked up at you, flexing his hands into a tight fist, his biceps pulsing through his flannel.
“I don’t like seeing women getting disrespected-“
“No, Logan. What really made you angry?”
Logan’s eyebrows furrowed as you kneeled, getting on his level in front of him as he sat on the crate. You set your hands in your lap, peering up at him questionably. Awaiting an answer. A part of you knew exactly why he was so angry. You just wanted him to say it out loud. You needed him to say it out loud.
“I was…” He stopped talking as you tilted your head, shaking it tightly, disapproving of his trailed off sentence. You rose, now sitting up on your knees gazing at Logan. You moved closer to him, now right in front of his face.
“What made you so mad? Was it that another man wanted to touch me? Look at my ass? Another man wanted me? Is that it, Logan?” You purred, and Logan growled at the thought. It made him furious. You smiled, clicking your tongue. “I see…”
“No man should be touching you…”
“But…?” You trailed off, waiting for him to finish. You moved closer to his face, your breath panning over his cheek and Logan shuddered the closer you moved towards him. Logan didn’t know why he wanted to be closer to you. To feel you. You were so close. So close that he could feel your steady breathing, he could feel the heat as it radiated from your body, he could smell the perfume you wore every single day. The perfume that had haunted him for months. The perfume he chased in the halls, waiting to smell it. He wanted to smell that smell forever. He swallowed roughly, inching towards you.
“But…”
The back door slammed open, and your boss appeared calling your name.
“Your break’s over! Stop fucking the drunk-“ You stood quickly, awkwardly standing next to Logan who looked slightly embarrassed as he looked the opposite way from your boss.
“He cut his hand. I was just-“
“I don’t give a fuck. Come do your job.” Your boss slammed the door shut, and you sighed walking towards it. You started to open it, but paused to look back at Logan. You gave him a small smile, which he didn’t return.
“I’ll see you.” And you pulled the door shut behind you, entering the bar as Logan sat on that crate only thinking of his neighbor across the hall.
a/n: lmk if you guys enjoyed this and if i should write more (possibly smut). itll be a two parter, maybe three im not too sure! i love hearing feedback so please let me know! :) i love the soft side of logan and especially showing that soft side of him because of laura.
ps. the bar scene is based off of true events as a server who was behind the bar… #lovegettingharraseddailybydrunkenmenatmyjob
cross-posted on ao3:
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yoditopascal · 4 months ago
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Like A Prayer (Part 2)
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summary: best friends with wade you’re always being dragged into something even when he’s not trying to, what are you to do when you find the fate of your timeline in the hands of yourself, your chaotic merc and an angry wolverine who’s hellbent on drinking himself to death?
content warning: romance, some angst, a little fluff, character deaths, canon-typical violence, smut, lots of cussing, mutual pining, found family, drug and alcohol use, reader insert but with no use of y/n cuz I hate that shit, deadpool being deadpool, mentions of poor mental health (depression anxiety and ptsd mostly), scent marking, the honda odyssey scene needs a warning all on its own MINORS DNI
a/n: I wanted to get up to the part where you finally meet Logan but it was too long 😭 and I ended up deciding to split the chapter up. In the mean time I hope this enough to tide you over. <3
tag list: sorry if you weren’t tagged I tried tagging everyone that asked but some usernames didn’t work! @allmyn1ghts, @blooket-scares-me, @amararosesblog, @talanyra, @spideybv28
Previous Chapter//Next Chapter
Wolverining is Hard
When you come to, your arms are tightly secured behind your back. Sitting up you try to take in your surroundings as you wiggle around trying to free yourself. The room you’re in is dark with a metal table and a singular chair in the middle and smelled strongly of disinfectant.
Just as you felt like you were making progress with your restraints, really you had just dislocated your hand, a door opens up on your right flooding your vision with a blinding light.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Came an accented voice, it sounded British. Just as your eyes had started to adjust to the light you were harshly hoisted up to your feet and dragged away into another room before being dumped unceremoniously at the feet of a pair of red and black boots
“Pookie you’re alive!” said Wade dressed in a new and improved Deadpool suit. Where did he get that? You thought to yourself. “I thought these TVA fucks ate you or something!
Helping you to your feet Wade pats you on top of the head before gesturing between your restrained hands and a guy holding what looked like a giant remote in his hands.
Rolling his eyes the guy snaps his fingers and you’re manhandled again as your restraints are roughly yanked off.
Taking in your surroundings you notice you’re in what looks to be an office with office workers and a floating platform above it. On the platform, where you all were standing, are a bunch of monitors all showing different scenes of you and your friends.
“Where are we Wade? What is this place?” You asked confused as you rubbed at your sore wrists, getting closer to him.
“You, baby girl, have just been upgraded to first disciple! Congratulations!” He said jokingly, just as he was about to say something else he was interrupted by an accented voice, the same one you had heard before.
“As you can see Mr. Wilson your friend is alive and well mostly well.” Said the man from behind Wade with the British accent, he eerily reminded you of Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. Frowning, the man watched you with a disgusted expression as you flicked your hand popping your wrist back into place as you sucked in a breath in pain. You had definitely dislocated it earlier.
“Now as much as I hate to cut the reunion short it’s time for her to go back home.” He said snapping his fingers again, suddenly you're surrounded by men in body armor again, one reaches out quickly to grab you but you stumble back into Wade who pushes you behind him.
“Wait wait wait….you’re just gonna send her home? To die?” He turns to ask the man behind him. He could feel you pressed against his back, like you were trying to get under his skin. You were scared and he couldn’t blame you, you still had no idea what was going on.
“Die? What are you talking about?” You asked looking back and forth between the man and Wade until a gloved finger fell on your lips silencing you.
“Shush child Marvel Jesus is talking.”
“What the fuck?” You whispered, pushing his hand away.
“You can’t send her back Paradox.”
“Oh I can and I will.” The man, Paradox, had said as one of his armed men came up to him handing him one of those electric baton stick things you had seen earlier. You immediately tensed up, as he started to approach you with it, not knowing what it would do to you on contact.
“No wait wait wait please just hang on a fucking second!” Wade shouted, it was one of rare times he got serious and it made your hair stand on end
“What now Mr. Wilson?” Mr. Paradox asked, groaning dramatically, as if all of this was just a giant waste of his time
“W-what can I do to fix it? The timeline?”
Timeline? What the fuck was happening? You thought confused as you looked back at Wade again as he stared down Mr. Paradox
“Nothing unless you can bring Wolverine back to life in the next,” he says nonchalantly as if it were the most obvious thing in the world as he checks his watch “96 hours. But that’s impossible to-“
That little bit of information was enough to get the cogs in Wade’s brain turning as he hatched a play.
“Say less, I’m on it like a car bonnet!” Wade said cheerfully, you had no idea what the fuck that many but whatever it was Wade had set his mind too it and once his mind was set nothing was going to get in his way.
“Mr. Wilson-“ Mr. Paradox had started to say but before he could get another word out, Wade lunges forward and headbutts him full force, breaking his nose on contact, knocking him out as he snatched up the strange remote device Paradox had had in his hands.
Before you could even blink, Wade grabs you, scooping you up into his side, right under his armpit, as he opens up another one of those orange portal doors and jumps right through it with you.
The other side of the portal opens up midair and you crash land in the middle of a frozen forest. The ground and trees around you, covered in a powdery dusting of snow as a harsh wind blows over you causing you to shiver slightly, as you go to sit up you find yourself unable to move as a sharp pain shoots up your right arm.
It took a few moments to realize Wade had landed with you, more like on top of you it seemed, until you heard him groan from your back.
“I gotta get better at opening those things.” He groans, getting up.
“Sorry sugar lumps, we didn't really stick the landing there.” He said stretching his sore limbs as he gestured to your arm. It was bent at an awkward angle behind you, most definitely broken. Standing to your feet you grab at the injured appendage, popping it back into place with a loud snap and a yelp before it has a chance to heal wrong
“Ok Wade I’ve had enough of this Leon and Helena bullshit-“ you panted out still reeling from the pain of your arm.
“Ha! Resident Evil 6 humor!”
“Enough! Please just tell me what’s going on?!” You finally snap as you pull your cardigan around yourself in an attempt to block out the cold. Wade looks you over as if contemplating what to say next before he groans, running a gloved hand over his mask.
“Ah shit where do I even start?” He says as he sits down on a pile of rocks that had a makeshift stick x on top that looks suspiciously like a grave, you chose not to comment on it, as he begins to explain what had transpired over the last hour.
Apparently he was Marvel Jesus, you still didn’t get that part, and your timeline was dying. How? You weren’t entirely sure but Wade kept mumbling under his breath about some “Aussie fuck stealing his thunder from down under”, and that Mr. Paradox guy, who’s in charge of those TVA bastards that kidnapped you and Wade, was in charge of overseeing it but instead of letting it die out naturally over the next hundred years or so was going to speed up the process and now Wade only had 96 hours to fix it before everyone you knew and loved died.
“Which is why we’re here!” He said cheerfully pulling two shovels out of nowhere. Looking behind him to see where the shovels had intact come from you missed as he took a sip from his newly acquired ‘I Like Me’ mug through his mask before tossing it. “Grab your shovel jelly bean, we're hunting a Wolverine!” He said tossing the second shovel at your feet as he pulls the makeshift x grave marker from the pile of stones and starts to dig.
As soon as he said that you felt your stomach drop to your ass. That was a grave behind him, and it wasn’t just anyone’s… it was the Wolverine’s. You were digging up Wolverine to save your timeline?
“Holy shit.”
To say you idolized the guy was an understatement. When you were a kid you had all kinds of Wolverine comics and stickers, hell you still had a pair of Wolverine underwear to this day. Digging up his grave after all this time, after all that he went through in life just felt…wrong.
“You can cream your spinach later, right now we need to see if widdle Wolvie is really taking a dirt nap or not.” Chunks of dirt flew through the air as Wade kept digging, completely absorbed in his task.
“Wade this is-“ Not right you wanted to say. You start feeling your anxiety bubble up in your chest. “I can’t-!”
The sound of his shovel hitting something metal, adamantium, stopped you in your place. Tapping his shovel twice more to make sure he had actually hit something and that it wasn’t just his imagination, Wade looked over to you before turning back to what he had found, wiping away the dirt, he stared down at the now exposed decaying metallic skull of the Wolverine.
Your breath caught in your throat as you watched Wade stare at the corpse for a moment, lost in thought, before he raised his shovel over his head and bought it down on Wolverine’s skull over and over again, not stopping until he got even frustrated and snapped the wooden handle over his knee, no doubt breaking it in the process.
“Damn it! Son of a bitch! Fuck! Motherfucker! My world is fucked!”
He screamed, throwing the pieces of the shovel and swinging his arms as he punched at the air. It had been a long time since you had seen him this serious, albeit the last time you were quite literally dying, and it was honestly terrifying.
Your stomach sank even further at his words. Hugging your arms to yourself in an attempt to make yourself smaller you slowly approached Wade just as he was pulling the adamantium skeleton fully from the grave, dragging it over to a downed tree as he propped it up to sit cross legged by him.
“That was weird. I’m much calmer now.” He says with a chuckle, you’re not sure if he’s talking to you or the corpse. “Look, I’m not a man of science, but you seem incredibly passed away. But it’s good to see ya.” he pats the corpse on the knee causing you to wrinkle your nose up in disgust as bile rises in your throat. You’d seen Wade do a lot of strange shit over the years of knowing him, but exhuming a grave of a fallen hero and having a one on one with his dead body was a whole new world for you.
“I gotta be honest, I’ve always wanted to ride with you, Logan. You and me, getting into everything. Just fucking shit up. Can you imagine the fun, the chaos, the residuals?”
You didn’t even want to know what he meant by that as you crept up next to Wade, kneeling down by his side.
“G’day, mate? There’s nothing that’ll bring me back to life faster than a big bag of metal cash.” Wade placed a finger under the corpse’s chin making its mandible move up and down as if he was talking to him, you put your arm on his to get him to stop but he just kept going as he moved to hold his masked head in his hands.
“No, no, no, no, uuuugh!” He groans dramatically as he throws his head back, thumping it on the tree trunk behind him. “He had to get all noble and die for real. God damn it! We coulda really used your help right about now Hugh.”
“Wade,” you said softly as you reached out to rest a hand on his shoulder, “we’ll figure something out, there’s got to be another way right?”
Wade’s masked face turns to look at you, deep in thought, before the sound of multiple approaching footsteps pulls him out of his head. Pulling you until you were tucked between him and the tree truck, he peeks over the tree before ducking back down just as fast, cursing under his breath.
“Wade Winston Wilson! You’re under arrest by the Time Variance Authority for too many crimes to count, come out!” Came a booming voice over the chill of the air. You and Wade look at each other for a moment as if deciding what to do.
“This is your last chance! Throw out your weapons and come out peacefully!” The voice said again as he and a bunch of other TVA agents began to surround you.
You look Wade in his eyes again and nod, knowing he’s going to have to fight to get you both out of there. Looking around himself for anything you could use to defend yourself, his eyes land on the adamantium skeleton sitting nearby and he gets a horribly morbid idea.
“I’m not gonna give you my weapons! But I promise not to use them.” He shouts back as he turns back towards you, placing a hand on your head. “Ok Nugget you know the drill.” He says so that only you can hear.
“You go right, I go left.” You nod your head towards the tree line in the background on your left.
“Good girl.” He pats you on the head one last time, tucking baby knife into your hand. “Maximum effort.” He grunted as you both stood, jumping into action. You break to the left as fast as your feet can carry you just as Wade jumps over the tree trunk pulling Wolverine's body with him.
Hearing rapid footfalls following close behind you try to pick up the pace, your lungs burning as you run, just as you reach the woods a gloved hand reaches out tangling itself in your locs before yanking you backwards. You hit the snow covered ground with an audible thud. Your head ringing and vision blurred from the impact. Just as your eyes were starting to clear, that rapid thumping noise from before came back with a vengeance.
Shaking your head to clear it you try and get back up to your feet until a black boot, steps down on your shoulder harshly. Above you stood a TVA agent, his stick pointed right at you as he glared down at you. Just as he began to lower it, you pulled baby knife from your boot, stabbing it as hard as you could through his foot.
He screams in pain as he stumbles backwards falling on his ass as he goes to pull out the knife. Scrambling back up you yank the knife from his foot before embedding it in his exposed neck. Pulling the knife back out again the fall back on your ass in shock at what you just did. You killed someone and hadn’t even hesitated. Sure you had see your fair share of people dying, thanks mostly to Wade, but never had you actually been the one doing the killing.
Before you have a chance to wallow anymore to yourself, you hear a body thud next to you and jump.
“My bad!” Wade calls as he smacks a TVA agent across the face with something that looked suspiciously like a metal femur, shattering his helmet and mostly his face on impact. “Wolverining is hard!”
“Wolverine was a hero and the only thing worth a shit to ever come out of Canada!” Shouted a voice from in front of you two, it was the same guy from before, the one who you tackled through the portal earlier, and he looked pissed. Before he had a chance to say anything else a katana goes bouncing off the ground and right through the guy’s mouth.
“Get my country’s name out of your fucking mouth.” Wade said as he walked up to the still standing body, pulling his sword out of his mouth. “And my sword, gimme that.”
Cleaning off the blade with his sleeve, Wade looks you over, checking you for injuries, something he couldn’t break himself from doing, no matter how much you told him you could heal, before pulling you to your feet.
“We gotta find us another Logan, an alive one.” He said looking around himself assessing the overall damage.
“How?” You question still trying to quiet the pounding in your head, it was starting to fade out now, only being a low murmur at the point, but it still made it hard to focus.
Pulling something from his belt, Wade holds up the remote looking device he had stolen from Mr. Paradox earlier between wiggling fingers.
“This my dear bestest pal is how.” He said opening it up and hitting a few buttons. Another orange portal opens and you stare at it in contemplation, nervousness grips your stomach as you think about what the two of you would get into on the other side of the portal. Wade goes through first holding out a hand for you from the other side. Swallowing down rising anxiety, you take up his hand following him through.
On the other side of the portal the atmosphere is much warmer, you're both in a club, a nice one at that, surrounded by other people as they mingle and converse by the bar.
“Logan I’m gonna need you to come with us!” Wade spoke over the music. Looking around the room, you wonder which of these people he was talking to, none of them really looked like a Wolverine to you.
“Who’s asking?” came a familiar voice from the bar. Turning to look to see who it was that said that, you were shocked to see a guy, about your height, with a crazy hairy torso, wearing a tight fitted black v-neck.
His face definitely screamed Wolverine to you but there was something about this man that just struck you as off.
“Look at this little Mary Lou Retton. Did you stick the landing little guy? Yes, you did, comic-accurate short king.” Wade cooed to him from your side in a baby voice as he crouched down dramatically.
You frowned up as Wade as he mocked him, definitely planning to ream him out later when you, yourself, was the same height as the man he was making fun of. This Wolverine stares at you, recognition and another emotion in his eyes, that you weren’t sure of as his nostrils flared and they took in yours and Wade’s, no doubt horrific, scents. Just as you were about to tell Wade that this Wolverine would work, another orange portal opens up behind you and he dragging you inside with him.
“Cue the fucking montage, baby.”
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hereandqueer6540 · 15 days ago
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Potentially unpopular opinion - I want to see more of Nick Nelson being attracted to girls in the comic and/or show.
Most of the time Nick’s bisexuality is told to us rather than shown to us by him constantly saying “I’m bi actually.”
That isn’t bad necessarily, but even though I know Nick is bi I sometimes struggle to view him that way because the story usually shows us more evidence of him experiencing same sex attraction. We of course have Nick being attracted to Charlie, but we also have him being attracted to Jack Maddox and him recounting an anecdote of a same sex crush from when he was younger (my memory’s hazy on that last one but I know it happened at some point). When it comes to Nick being attracted to girls, all we have is a couple ‘blink and you miss it’ moments - the Pirates of the Caribbean movie scene and the younger Nick kissing Tara scene.
I think it would be fun to have a scene in a public place with the gang, where a girl with dark curly hair walks past — maybe walking her dog or something and maybe Nick is walking Nellie as well — and Nick clearly notices her and gets a little flustered. And everyone stares at Nick, surprised, except for Tara, who’s like “Did you all forget Nick is bi?” in a ‘duh’ voice. And then maybe Darcy’s like “oh my gosh I forgot you were attracted to girls too!!” and then Charlie looks over at the girl and says teasingly — “I can see why you like her; she’s basically the girl version of me” and Nick’s like “CHAR-LIE” all embarrassed and then he looks at the girl again and he’s like “okay, you have a point.” And Charlie’s grinning like “oh my gosh” and Nick’s like ‘come here’ and they kiss. Or something like that.
If Alice Oseman doesn’t do this I guess I will write a fanfic because this scene needs to exist imo. Maybe someone could create a fan art of it too?
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bitchy-craft · 9 months ago
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PICK A CARD: How they kiss
Hello and welcome to this new post of mine! In here I will give you a reading on how your future spouse kisses. I hope you guys enjoy and find this interesting.
Masterpost > Paid Readings
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~pick a card~
Pile 1:
When your future spouses kisses you they absolutely go for it; there won’t be just a little peck on the lips or cheek (unless you wish for that). They will smother you with kisses all over your body, making sure you know and keep being reminded of the fact that they love you unconditionally. You might be an insecure individual who often needs reassurance that you are loved and liked, your future spouse is aware of that and makes sure that it is clear to you that you indeed are.
Your future spouse will smother you with kisses so passionately you can’t do anything but think they see you as their prized possession, someone to care for and love, someone to help in difficult times etc.
Pile 2:
Your future spouse won’t have much experience when it comes to kissing the moment you two get together. It might feel a bit clumsy at the beginning but they will pick up quick enough what it is they’re supposed to do, how to follow or take lead and make it a pleasurable experience.
When it comes to kissing they will mostly stay around your mouth region; your lips and the parts around it. The way they could often be kissing you could be in the way Mr Darcy kisses Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice in the last scene; they will peck your cheek and tell you they love you, then kiss next to your lips and repeat the same thing, kiss the corner of your lip and eventually end up kissing you full on the mouth. Your future spouse is definitely a romantic when it comes to kissing and will use it in a sensual and delicate way of getting their point (love) across.
Pile 3:
When it comes to kissing your future spouse is definitely a big smoocher. Think big, long kisses where they hardly give the both of you time to take a breather. As well as long and big pecks on the cheeks when wanting to show some love yet not make a whole scene out of it. They’re very enthusiastic when it comes to touching you and kissing you; so much they refrain from doing too much.
Your future spouse also has trouble showing you how much they love you, showing their emotions in general in the usual ways. So whenever they do find a way it will be very energetic. Therefore when they do kiss you it might come over as very intense and passionate, yet not dirty in the slightest. Just amusing, fun, and to some of you maybe even really cute.
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